Scream and Shout
by Romance Is
Summary: "I guess you could call me kind of a wallflower, an introverted one if you will. Hell I'd even go so far as to say I am invisible, but that does not mean I don't have a story." The tale of Kim and Jared and how they came to be.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Musings of a Wallflower

**All these characters belong to Stephanie Myer not me bla bla bla... **

_We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love_

Anonymous

I guess you could call me kind of a wallflower, an introverted one if you will. Hell I'd even go so far as to say I am invisible, but that does not mean I don't have a story. It doesn't mean I don't have passions, and it certainly does not mean that I do not have opinions. I strongly believe we wallflowers are a greatly misunderstood bunch. People automatically assume that simply because we choose not to speak, we obviously have nothing to say. Well I am here to tell you that is just not true. Perhaps it has not crossed your mind that we choose to keep our mouths shut because we do not have a sick desire to be the center of attention (like the rest of the adolescence of America). Perhaps we are are actually secure enough in ourselves not to be noticed simply by lowering our selves to immaturity. Or perhaps, we value the few friends we have enough not to suffer from a compulsive desire to gain more and more useless ones.

Of course these are merely my own musings, and as you can tell I might suffer from a great deal of bias on the matter. I must say, one common misconception about wallflowers is that we suffer from being horrifically "nerdy" or "geeky" and I must say with resounding passion that this is simply not true. I do not have a Star Wars figurine collection in my bed room, I do not enjoy unhealthy amounts of anime or manga, or whatever the hell it's called, and I do actually bathe and care about my appearance just as much as anyone else. I do not sit around and avoid getting involved with the school, and have done my share of embarrassing sports after school like everyone else. But maybe I am getting a bit long winded with my little rant? That is fair, so I shall not continue to bore you but with one last point.

The great tragedy of being a wallflower in the great and brutal world of high school is that we are severely over looked by the opposite sex. Indeed, romance is usually not a factor of our lives at all, and if it is, it winds up to be painfully one sided. If romance becomes present in our lives at all I am afraid we are doomed to the miserable life of unrequited love, which is possibly the single most painful, unexplainable, acute kind of pain that can be experienced. Because I simply refuse to lower myself to the tactics of short skirts, annoying laughs and soft touches (which I have observed to be the most useful tools when flirting) I am banished from the dating world, doomed to live a life alone, if not celibate, forever. But what can be done? Do I change myself for that damn boy? Do I change my wardrobe to something more revealing and start talking as though I am unintelligent? No. If Jared Dawyer doesn't notice me just the way I am, then I will just have to deal with the pain of graduating without ever having a prom date. Worse things have happened though...right?

**Yay! So it begins. Please please review. It is important to me to hear back from my readers. I want you to know that this is totally not a normal Jared/Kim story, but it's not bizarre and out of cannon either. The character of Kim fascinates me, and it is important to me that I develop her has a character. I want this to read more like a book of her life then just a fan fiction about Jared, so don't expect them to be together in the first few chapters. Anyway that's really all. REVIEW! **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

A Day In The Life

**No copy right infringement intended **

_Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart. _**  
-** Robert Sexton

The shrill shriek of the bell from overhead made me jump in surprise. My dark eyes had been fixed on the blank piece of notebook paper before me for the past hour as my teacher had droned on about things like dendrites and axons, which both sound like some unfortunate disease if you ask me. Mr. Wesley wiped his sweaty brow with a pudgy hand and looked at our class as though he was quite distressed that the bell dare interrupt him.

"Well, we will finish the notes when you get back on Monday, and then have our test the following Wednesday, make sure you get together with your study groups." The poor man became increasingly more flustered as the sound of students gathering their papers and backpacks over powered his meek voice. I followed suite and was already halfway out the door by the time Mr. Wesley squeaked out his goodbyes. I could not help but let out a sigh if relief as I was swept upstream with the rest of the students bustling about the hallway. Biology had certainly never been my forte, in fact I consider myself quite dreadful at anything that isn't English or a foreign language. I had always had an uncanny strength with learning languages, but unfortunately terms of math and science remained a mystery to me in the worst way. My biology grade quite proved that fact.

I clutched my notebook to my chest, trying to take up as little space as I could and go as unnoticed as possible in the sea of people around me. La Push High School was by no means large, but considering our limited funds, the school facility could hardly hold all of us, and our hallways were nearly always bursting at the seams. The reservation of La Push was not large either, in the grand scheme of things, and though I recognized all of the faces I passed everyday, I remain perfect strangers with most of them. I chose to keep my eyes fixed on the toes of my shoes as I trudged along to my locker. Only a few more classes, then the weekend would finally be here. As fall break began to draw closer the days began to get longer, ridiculously longer, and by the time Friday came around I was usually about ready to declare anarchy against the school system. High school was certainly a environment I struggled thriving in, the popularity contest seemed frivolous and stupid, the segregation of cliques was juvenile, and the extracurricular activities simply encouraged both the former and the later. No, I Kimberly Connweller much prefer to get in and get out with as little heartache as possible. My goal was to get that damn slip of paper that said I had done it all and then head for the hills. Sure, it's probably not the most positive or healthy approach, but it gets me through day.

In trying to shuffle to my locker I accidentally bumped into a large, broad shouldered, long haired Quileute youth. He glanced down at me but then took no further notice, I momentarily wondered if it was simply because his brain was not capable of forming words but then shook the mean notion out of my head. I quickly muttered my apologies and darted in front of him, out of the stream of students, to stand by my locker. That was truly an art form. Furrowing my brow I began to focus on my combination, which always seemed to be particularly difficult when I was in a rush, stupid cheap thing.

"Kimmy!" A small, familiar hand clapped me on the back, and the high boyish, voice of my best friend made me jump in surprise. I turned from my unopened locker and attempted to appear exasperated, even though I could feel a grin breaking my face.

"Davy! Don't sneak up on me like that squirt!" I attempted to bat at his head but he darted a way with a small laugh. Davy was quite different in appearance to most of the Rez. His dark brown hair was usually quite well tamed with various hair products, though one strand always had the endearing habit of falling into his twinkling gray eyes. His bright smile was masked by a thick track of braces, which he never endeavored to hide and usually displayed quite openly. It was a very rare occasion that Davy did not have a bright smile on his face. It's probably why I loved him so much. That and who doesn't love having a best friend who looks like a twelve year old? I turned back to my locker combination, this time aware of Davy's presence behind me and the fact that the clock was ticking for us to get to our next class.

"How did that presentation go for Moore's class? That was this last hour right?" I began exchanging the text books in my bag for new ones, looking over my shoulder questioningly at Davy.

"Not bad," Davy gave a non-committal shrug, "people didn't seem as passionate about it as I would like."

I had to offered him a sympathetic smile at this. I knew his great passion for animal rights, but had a feeling that the rest of the school would be more reluctant to jump on the bandwagon of PETA then I had (stupid gits). Davy took any opportunity he could to talk about his passion, but I had a sneaking suspicion that his Speech class had probably already heard quite enough about the mistreatment and abuse of animals.

"I bet you got some people thinking about it though. Which is a start right?" I tucked book bag under my shoulder and nudged Davy playfully in the arm, which he answered with a grateful smile. I found myself wondering on a regular basis how a boy as innocent and caring as Davy survived in La Push High; yet, by some miracle the harsh words and loud whispers seemed not to effect him. We kept mostly to ourselves, besides a handful of our other close friends we chose to keep our noses clean in the social world of the high school. It worked for us, but unfortunately it also made us easy prey for the psychologically disturbed bully's of the Rez.. Davy had been pushed around quite a bit his freshman and sophomore year by the larger football players, and I of course was subjected to the more artful and vicious battle field of gossip and rumors. Things had seemed to get better for us this year though, after about two and a half years of receiving no response to their goading I am pretty sure the student population has lost interest in us. We were branded as the uninteresting ones, not quite outcasts but not the ones sharing beers and make out sessions with the popular kids around a bon fire either.

Davy and I began to walk through the hallway side by side, looking like the quite the disproportionate pair. My long and lanky legs merely took one stride to his quickly shuffled two. I wondered if it was a Quileute trait to be tall? That was certainly part of the gene pool Davy missed out on.

"Well hey, I've got a silver lining! We only have Ms. Saleem's class left! Then we are free for the rest of the weekend." Davy flashed a metal smile, anticipation of the weekend clear on his face.

I let out a sigh of relief. Yes, English as the last class of the day was always the best. Ms. Saleem was...not always quite all there if you know what I mean but in a totally endearing way that makes you want to hug her. Davy and I shuffled into our classroom behind the other students and took our assigned seats. By some great misfortune he had been placed across the room from me, so we were only aloud to share knowing smiles and grins every once and a while. We nodded our goodbyes, knowing we would have no real communication until the end of class and took our respective seats. He was sitting front and center (because my dear Davy had a habit of...well never shutting up) and I was placed in the back far corner, mainly because Ms. Saleem knew me well enough to be assured that I would behave. Davy was soon caught up in conversation with the girl sitting next to him and I looked down to rummage through my bag for the correct notebook.

The bell rang and the last few students straggled in, most of them grumbling about enduring Ms. Saleem at the end of the day and I had to stifle the urge to shoot a glare at them. Some people just can't see past their own nose, much less out of the box. But I guess that's sixteen year olds for you.

"Today, class we will be going over your reading from 'Paradise Lost'. Does anyone remember what we said about the author yesterday?" There was a long silence, I did not raise my hand for fear that everyone would know I was the only person who actually did the reading.

Ms. Saleem placed a frustrated hand on her frizzy hair. "How about some of your favorite quotes? Anything really stick out to you?"

"_Better to reign in Hell_, than serve in Heaven," I muttered under my breath so as not to be heard. I felt someone shift beside me and look in my direction before looking away once again and returning to a slouched position.

After a few moments of silence Ms. Saleem continued on, talking about the reading which all of us were supposed to do, but clearly did not. She was too nice, giving all these fools the answers for their essays.

As class fully got underway I aloud myself once glance to my right. Only one. And there he sat. Jared Dawyer, his dark hair falling in his eyes which were half closed with boredom anyway. I wondered how he could be so uninterested in something that was so clearly fascinating. I also wondered why the hell I found myself so attracted to someone who was so _clearly _not my type. Jared was not academic or cerebral at all. He did not find Ms. Saleems nervous ticks adorable as I did and he clearly did not think John Milton as much of a genius (which is truly saying something). Still, he was the only boy in the entirety of La Push High who was able to catch my eye. I seriously can't explain it but I swear I've had a creepy crush on him since freshman year. Of course no one else but Davy knows, and I intend to keep it that way, but it doesn't help that I have to sit next to him five days out of the week with the knowledge that he doesn't even know my name. I turned away from him and back to my school work. It wouldn't do to get caught looking at him, even if his cheek bones were perfectly set by his jaw line. Just as I did this door to the classroom opened, followed by the sound of loudly clacking heels. The entire class turned to look at our guest.

"May I steal one of your students please Judy?" Mrs. Fray the assistant principle stood in the doorway, looking frighteningly intimidating in her pencil skirt.

Ms. Saleem nodded and turned her ever flustered face back to her whiteboard.

"Um, Miss Connweller please? Can you come with me?"

There was a loud "ooooh" from the class, Jared included, as I rose from my seat. There was only one reason Mrs. Fray ever pulled a student out of class. Trouble. And I could almost put money on what _my _trouble was going to involve. I would have blushed at being stared at by the whole class but I didn't have time, my eyes searched frantically for Davy's. A look of concern washed over his innocent face, but before I turned to go he offered me an encouraging smile. I slunk out of the room, walked past Mrs. Fray who was holding the door open for me and prayed it was not as serious as last time. Once the latch was shut safely behind us Mrs. Fray placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and I turned to face her.

" What could have possibly happened this time?"

**Dun dun dun! Like I said before, it is really important to me that you get a grip on Kimmy's character before she is thrown into her story. Also, I thought I would leave you with a little bit of a cliff hanger because I am mean like that but if you REVIEW I will update lickity split (yeah I just said that). Please please?**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

The Tale Of A Connweller

"_Love never claims, it ever gives. Love ever suffers, never resents never revenges itself."_  
-Mahatma Ghandi

I felt my heart beat quicken as I fell in step with Mrs. Fray's long stride. She removed her hand from my shoulder and her arms swung confidently from her sides. She was the type of woman who simply demanded respect, just by the way she carried herself. I greatly looked up to her for that, even though she was bitterly hated my most of the schools population. Most of the students referred to her as "that crazy lady" or "the psycho", among many other colorful adjectives which I shall not pollute myself with repeating. My opinion of her was different though. The great thing about Mrs. Fray was if you didn't misbehave, you had nothing to fear. In fact that was probably the reason we got along so well. I had never given her a reason to dislike me, and so she treated me like the mature, almost adult that I am. Still, because of certain circumstances I worked with her far more closely than I would like to admit.

She took in a deep, frustrated breath before responding to my question. "He's started another fight." she glanced sideways at me, giving me a sympathetic look, "It was one he couldn't win."

I set my jaw, my blood pulsing with annoyance as we neared the office area. It was not usually a place that students saw unless they were being suspended or expelled, but of course I was different. Mrs. Fray opened the door and stood aside, motioning for me to go in first.

"I am sorry to call you out of class Kimberly," she said as we made her way past the secretary, who was smiling brightly like a fool from behind her desk. "but you know, it's school policy that after a fight the students have to escorted off the premises. I tried calling your mother but..."

"She's still working. I understand completely." I cut her off, not wanting her to explain a situation to me that I was already quite aware of. Hell, this was the second time this month I was called out of English.

"Where is he?" I asked, looking around the main office area and not catching sight of my little brother anywhere. Usually he was sitting in the chair right by the door, head hung low and hands balled into fists of frustration.

"He wasn't in good shape." Mrs. Fray explained with a grimace, "I had him wait in my privet office."

She led me past a few other closed doors before opening her own, ushering me inside. I had to gasp at the sight that awaited me there. My little brother was sitting in a large padded chair facing the window, a wad of tissues held up to his bleeding nose. He looked up at me through one black eye and frowned, making me aware of his split lip. This was bad. Possibly worse then I had ever seen him before.

"Oh my God! Alex!" I rushed over to him, kneeling down to better examine his face. As my hand reached out to touch his cheek he shuttered and slunk away from me in pain. I bit my lower lip. It was hard to be mad at him when he looked so utterly...pathetic. He was only a year younger than me, a sophomore to be exact, but in times like this he looked so much younger.

"What-" I didn't get a chance to finish my question because he narrowed his green eyes at me and tried to pull away.

"Just don't Kim. Not now." I set my jaw, angry that he thought he had a right to speak to me that way when I was the one saving him from having to walk home in his present condition. But he was Alex, and I guess I should have seen it coming.

"Fine." I spat back having less trouble feeling sorry for him , "Go to the car." he glared and I had to stifle the urge to swear at him. "Now."

With that he finally obeyed. I struggled watching him get up and painfully walk to the door. He bent down to get his backpack and cringed, I rushed over to help. He was a right pain in the butt most of the time, but he was my brother and I loved him unconditionally. Not many people knew it, but he really did have reasons for acting out the way he did. No, I'm not making excuses for him or anything, but that doesn't mean that seeing him in pain doesn't pull at my heart strings.

After he finally hobbled out the door I turned to Mrs. Fray with a grateful smile. "Thanks for taking care of him. I am...I'm so sorry about all this."

Once again she put a kind, strong hand on my shoulder. "It's alright Kim. You just make sure he is well taken care of. Don't worry about your class, I'll excuse you."

I repeated my gratitude and headed for the door, "Oh, and Kimberly?" I turned around, my long hair whipping me in the face as I did so. "Alexander is suspended for all of next week."

I cringed but nodded in understanding. "Of course he is." I muttered under my breath "Of course he is."

It wasn't long before Alex and I where in my Jeep, driving silently across the reservation to our home. We had not exchanged a word since he left the office and I was beginning to get overly curious. Usually Alex didn't fight unless he had a real reason to. It wasn't an excuse but at least he wasn't just a bully who enjoyed causing trouble. I wondered what could have caused him to take on a fight he must have known he could never win. He was sitting in the passenger seat, tissues still pressed against his nose as he gazed out the window, determined not to make eye contact with me.

I reached across the dash board to turn down the music that we had turned on too loudly to fill the silence. He swallowed hard (obviously knowing it was coming) but still did not look at me.

"Buddy?" I laid a soft hand on his knee, "Hey, Alex this is me. I'm not mad...well OK maybe I am a little mad, but I'm not mom. You can talk to me. What happened Al?"

He finally turned his neck, it looked like it took a lot of effort, and finally his green eyes searched mine. I was surprised to see tears forming there. "They were talking about mom..." I could tell he was working hard to talk past the lump in his throat. "That jackass Tim Dooley kept talking about mom." At the end of his sentence I could tell that he was close to loosing it. Trying to keep my eyes on the road I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. I felt it shake and knew that he was now actually crying but I didn't look at him, knowing that he wouldn't want me to.

"Shh...Alex. Alex it's ok." It wasn't easy being a Connweller here in La Push, in fact it was much like walking around with a scarlet letter "A" written across your forehead. But instead of the "A" standing for "adulteress" like it did in the great American novel, the Connweller "A" stood for something entirely different. It stood for abandoned. Abandoned by a father who most of the tribe did not approve of in the first place. It was all rather idiotic actually. My mother, unlike many of the other women of the Quileute tribe, decided to marry outside of our reservation. My father wasn't at all Native American, played in a band, and came from California, and apparently all these things were greatly frowned upon. When my mother married him I guess it was a really big deal, a near uproar. Still, my mother was sure that she loved him and did what she knew was right. He even gave up his life in California to come be a part of her life, our life, here on the reservation. For most of my childhood we all lived quite happily, some of the Elders even began to except him, but life throws you curve balls you would never expect and that's what happened my freshman year.

I guess his life with us became too much, because almost exactly two years ago, he up and left. Left for the life he abandoned long ago in California, with another woman. We were all devastated. We never could have seen it coming, Unfortunately other members of the tribe thought differently. For years we have all had to deal with the "I told you so" looks from quintessential La Push families like the Clearwater's, Ateara's and even (tragically) the Dawyer's. It was like some sick totem pole of status. The families whose parents were part of the Elder counsel were their own little clique, they ran the Rez, and the rest of us that stepped out of line were socially punished for it. I hated most of the Elders for the way they treated my mother, but Alex had always struggled more with the kids. He hated the way they tried to make him feel inferior and he had never been too keen in the idea of being left out of the social elite group. In fact it got to him a lot. In my opinion the problem was the adults, from beginning to end. If they weren't so small minded and idiotic then maybe their children wouldn't follow suite. But either way, I had a hard time blaming Alex for what he did.

We pulled into the driveway of our small home, remaining in silence. Alex blew his bloody nose into his wad of tissues and attempted to dry his eyes. Ever since dad left Alex had acted out like nothing else, he got involved with everything he wasn't supposed to because he was 'just a rebel like that'. I didn't buy that act for a minute though, it was easy to tell in times like this, just how much dad being gone got to him emotionally too. I shut off the engine with a flick of my keys and looked to the side.

"You go and get some ice on that eye. I'll get your backpack." He nodded and muttered some incoherent form of thanks. It wasn't much but at least it was some form of gratitude. As he began to hobble up the porch I remained in the Jeep, trying to get a hold of myself. How was I supposed to deal with this? Get mad at him? Tell him to let it go next time? Those both sounded like utterly weak arguments to me though, once I mulled them around in my head for a little while. Alex should have controlled his temper yes, but hell I probably would have wanted to beat that Dooley kid up too. None of it was excusable though, it never was. Alex was sixteen years old and it was about time for him to learn some self control. I wondered how exactly we were going to go about telling mom about the little fiasco and shuttered at the thought. She didn't take things like this very well. Really what mother did?

I turned in my seat to look in the back of my ragged little Jeep for my brother's backpack, quickly slinging it over my shoulder before exiting the car. I wasn't surprised that the bag seemed quite light. Alex was not usually greatly worried with getting his homework done, suspended for a week or not. God he must be failing most of his classes by now. With a sigh I trudged my way up to the house, looking up at the clouds as I did so. Rain was coming, but it was La Push so I guess that's not too surprising.

I set Alex's backpack down with a thud once I crossed the threshold of the front door. "You don't think anything is broken do you?" I called from the hallway as I made my way to our small kitchen. It would suck exponentially more if I had to explain to our mother that we had been to the hospital that day. No mother is capable of talking rationally when she knows one of her children is in the hospital for something. Trust me. I know. I entered the kitchen, and was happy to see that my brother's battle wounds had not effected his appetite. Alex was sitting on the counter, munching on a piece of cold pizza in one hand and pressing an ice pack to his eye with the other.

"Nah, I think it will be OK." He said through mouthfuls and I felt relief wash over me. So we had dodged to hospital bullet...this time.

I walked over to him to pull the ice pack away from his face. He looked absolutely dreadful. A bruise was forming around his nose, it's dark purple matching that of the one around his eye and his lip had swollen up to almost twice it's usual size.

I had to laugh (I know I'm horrible). "Alex, you are going to have to stop getting in fights or you are going to look like Quasimodo for the rest of your life."

He tried to laugh too but promptly stopped when it re-opened his lip, fresh blood oosing out of the crack. I sight and gently pushed his light brown hair (which he had inherited from our father) out of his face. He allowed himself a half smile at the show of affection but then returned to his pizza. Typical. I turned away, busying myself with the task of finding myself a snack.

"Your suspended for the next week. Mrs. Fray told you right?"

Alex nodded, looking down at the toes of his shoes. "Yeah, I know."

The apathy in his voice was shocking. I turned to him, once again frustrated. "Alex, this is the second time this semester! This is all going on your permanent records! Imagine when you are trying to get into college..."

Alex scoffed and hopped down from his perch of the counter. Quite the spry little guy when he needed to be huh? "I thought you said you weren't going to be mom."

I was about to continue my rant but he simply raised his hands in frustration and walked away, marching up the stairs to his room, and slamming his door behind him. I snatched a cereal box off the shelf in annoyance and plopped myself down on the couch. It was hard to be a mother to a boy who was only a year younger then you. It wasn't that my mom wasn't a wonderful maternal creature, she absolutely was, but life as a single mother was hard. She had to work extra hours at her job in Port Angeles just to provide for us and that didn't leave her much time to be around the house. No one could blame her, she was doing the best that she could. We all were.

I let an hour of time pass, thankful for the mindless television shows on after school. For a moment I thought of the class I left, and for a moment Jared wandered into my head. I wondered why I couldn't get over him? Why couldn't I put my finger on why I liked him? It was all a little to complicated to say. Maybe I suffer from that complex where you always want what you can't have. He was a friendly, outgoing guy with a lot of friends in the school, not to mention a mother who was an Elder of the tribe. He had a lot going for him, but he was different than all the others. There was a kindness in his countenance that couldn't be over looked. He was just...different. I thought of his kind, brown eyes but had to stop myself there. I am not one of those crazy girls who sits around and pines for a boy I can't have. Besides, I have a lot more to worry about in my life than getting noticed by Jared Dawyer.

I glanced up at the clock and sighed. Time to pick Gracie up from school. My little sister had a hatred for the La Push bus system that was nearly unparalleled. She didn't think it fair that Alex and I didn't have to ride the bus just because we were old enough to drive. That's eleven year old logic for you right? Anyway, like I always did, I caved into her wishes and agreed to picking her up every other day after school to make it fair. I rose from the couch with a grunt and called up the stairs.

"Hey Alex, I'm going to get Grace. I'll be back in a few. Do you need anything from the store?" The only answer I received was the volume of his music going up a few extra notches. I shook my head and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.

How were you supposed to deal with a kid like Alex? He wasn't a bad kid, not really. Sure he got into bad things, alcohol and fights and the like but deep down I knew he wanted to do the right thing. Dad leaving sent him into a downward spiral, and it was only getting worse as time went on. In the beginning I had hoped that time would heal his wounds, but it seemed to me like age only made it worse. Just like normal physical hurts, emotional hurts only got worse if you ignored the fact that they were there. Rain was pattering on my windshield by the time I got to the middle school. Coming here always made me cringe. It was filled with a bunch of small children, pretending to be older then they really were, and trying to dress like Hannah Montana. It was all together disturbing if you ask me. I waited in line for a while behind the rest of the cars who were waiting for their children to scamper out of the doors into the freedom of the weekend. To my surprise it only took Grace about ten minutes to get out the door. Usually she was so busy talking I wound up searching the hallways for her. When she caught sight of my beat up, poorly painted Jeep a bright smile broke her face and she waved happily at me.

"Hi Kimmy!" She exclaimed brightly as she opened the passenger door, "Thanks for coming to get me!"

I smiled back. At least someone was grateful for what I did for them. "No problem kiddo!" I waited for her to get settled in the seat beside me before putting my Jeep into drive. "Did you have a good day at school?"

She nodded vigorously, "Oh yes! We learned about plants and photosynthesis in science today. I loved it! We get to grow our own bean plants in the classroom."

I laughed at this, at least she hadn't lost her passion for school yet, which is certainly more then I can say. "Cool!"

We continued to talk about how "cool" photosynthesis was for the rest of the ride home, meaning mostly that Gracie talked and I listened but it could not help but be in a brighter mood afterward. It was times like this where I truly think we the Connweller family will be OK, even if we don't have a dad anymore.

**Thank you so much to all of those who reviewed. You are the reason this chapter is up. Um a few important things. 1) I am aware that the Elders are not as horrible as Kim makes them out to be, but lets face it,they kind of can't let a lot of people in because of there little secrets so they could seem rather elitist. 2) The Jared part of the story will start at some point soon I promise. I just don't want to throw you into it too fast because where is the fun in that. 3) Sorry if this chapter kind of sucks. I am not sure how I feel about it yet...anyway that's all. REVIEW dearies!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

An Extended Absence And A Strange Return

"_I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my Life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving..."_

_John Keats_

The rest of the weekend passed without great event. Of course, upon my mothers return home on Friday night there was a great deal of drama. Harsh words were spoken between she and Alex, doors were slammed, tears were shed, and futures were accused of being ruined, but what else is new. I couldn't blame my mother for her reaction of Alex's suspension, it was serious stuff that could very probably effect his future. It made me feel pity for both of them. I could see how it all wore on my mother. To her, Alex's apathy and bad attitude was always gearing at her taunting her and saying things like, "you can never do enough for him, not ever"; and every time he acted out it screamed at her, "you all, the Connweller family, you will not make it without our dad". I wished I could convey to her how disgustingly false both thoughts really were. Alex on the other had frightened me. Sure, he didn't care about his future _now_, he didn't care about passing his sophomore year much less concern himself with grades to get into a University, but I feared for the time when he realized that his choices were leading him to the path of working at a grocery store for the rest of his life.

Still, the weekend was surprisingly enjoyable. By some miracle the sun came out on Saturday which I took full advantage of. Davy, Gracie and I all spent most of the day on our bikes, riding from the beach to the forest and only coming inside for necessities like food and bathrooms. We all encouraged Alex to come with us and he, of course, refused. Because obviously staying in your room on a beautiful day is more preferable than biking, skimming stones, and climbing trees. I was grateful that Davy and Grace shared my love for being outside. When mom wasn't working she was usually trying to cook us a real meal which really did not happen very often and though her eyes were sad she did her best to smile. By Sunday it was raining again, and especially cold. I shut myself up in my room for most of the day, attempting to get all of my homework done in advance so I would have a less stressful week. (yeah I know I am just _that_ damn cool). Unfortunately, before I knew it, it was Monday again.

Waking up on a Monday morning is seriously painful. If you have ever attended public high school I am sure you can empathize. It's like your limbs refuse to move from their comfort of your soft bed and try as you might to open your eyes and face the day in front of you, you simply can't. And that, after you press the snooze button five times you jolt out of bed, and realize that you are going to have no time to get ready before you rush to your car and drive off to that prison they call a school... ringing any bells?(It's witty get it? Bells and late for school...yeah OK never mind.)

Well that was the way my morning was. And the day worn on to be even more miserable. Davy was on a field trip with his Choir class, which automatically notched back my mood a few large ticks, and I realized that I had don't my Biology homework for the wrong chapter, meaning I received no credit. I don't do well with no credit. Thankfully after negotiating with Mr. Wesley for a good ten minutes I got him to back down and give me an extra day on the assignment. I sat with my group of friends from the track team for lunch but found then frightfully boring without Davy there to divert my attention. I mostly sat and listened, looking at my hands awkwardly. Most of the conversation revolved around boys and I certainly had nothing intelligent to offer in that topic.

"Have you seen Paul? He's got freaking huge!" A sweet, but rather dim witted girl named Kate was saying.

"And freaking hotter! I mean we all know he was hot before, but gosh!" A short haired girl named Shelbi fanned herself with her hand and I had to stifle the automatic reaction to scoff. So _this _is the intelligence level I am supposed to live up to. Good to know. In my opinion these girls had simply watched a little too much of the _Hills _and _Sixteen and Pregnant_. Crap like that is bound to get to your brain. Still, a part of me felt a bit of pity for them. It hurts living your life just trying to get noticed by a boy and ever failing. I would know.

I was actually relieved when the bell rang, indicating that it was time to go to class. I waved goodbye to the girls as I gathered my things and they bid me goodbye in unison. I made a mental note to beat Davy if he ever went on a Choir field trip again.

The rest of the day passed without event. My already dark mood soured even more when I realized I had missed an assignment in English because of the extravaganza with Alex the previous afternoon. That just meant more homework. To make it all worse Jared wasn't even there, not that it makes much of a difference when he is, but I do always allow myself _one_ longing gaze at him per class(pathetic to the tenth power right?), and I didn't even get that today. Needless to say I was grateful once the day was over.

The rest of the week seemed to fly by. I was so busy with tying to hold things together at my house, do homework and help Davy catch up with his that I was surprised to find Friday fast approaching. It was a relief but a wonder that it had all zoomed by so quickly. The one thing that did concern me a bit was that Jared had been gone all week. I had seen hide nor hair of him around the school since our last English class together. I found myself wondering if he was sick. Or maybe he had suffered a death in the family? I hoped that neither was the case, and secretly wished that he was just a punk and skipping class or something. Better that then something serious.

The next week, once again seemed to pass too quickly to even notice. Davy and I took to driving to the nearby park for lunch everyday merely to get away from the hustle and bustle of the school for a few minutes and that was about as exciting as it got. Alex was back in school for this week and I tried desperately to get him to care about catching up on the weeks worth of school he had missed previously. By Thursday he finally agreed that if I would pick a few assignments up for him he would do them. I accused him of being an extortionist but of course agreed to his little deal. I probably would have done anything for him if only he promised to try at his grades a little was more important to me than anything that he had the chance to get out of La Push if he wanted it. I knew I did. By the time Friday afternoon had come around, I was pretty sure that I had run around the whole school multiple times for him in attempts to get every lick of his homework. It was truly the last thing I needed on my plate. I had had a French exam that morning, a lab write up in Bio, and an article on the consequences of Methamphetamine due for the school paper (which I was so regretting signing up for at the moment). I was bone tired.

Once I sunk into my desk for Ms. Saleem's class I could not help but let out a frustrated sigh. Davy turned around in his seat to give me a sympathetic smile. He was one of the few people in this entire school who actually understood what I went through on a daily basis. The bell rang and I put my head on my desk, utterly exhausted. Most of the students were already in their seats, but as the door opened one last time, I heard the class take in a collective gasp. I yawned and raised my head, looking around to what had caused such a reaction from so many people and when I looked at the figure standing in the doorway I am pretty sure my heart almost stopped. Jared. Freaking. Dawyer.

**Yay! He's baaack. And I bet you can guess what is going to happen next. Sorry this chapter is so short, I was just the best place to end it. This chapter is admittedly slow, on purpose, it's kind of the calm before the storm if you know what I mean. Hang in there with me! **

**I was also wondering if you all would be interested in a chapter from Jared's POV eventually?  
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**I wont lie the lack of reviews is rather disheartening guys. :( but I want to personally thank Anicaroxalot, Tiki is My Homeboy and DreamingOfScotland for being faithful about it. You guys encourage me enough to get over the hump of this chapter! As always REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

In the Blink of An Eye

_I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life. _

_D.H. Lawrence_

At least he_ looked_ like Jared... maybe I was mistaken though. Maybe it was his older brother who just got done doing time in jail? Or maybe the military? Or a large dosage of steroids? It would explain the muscles anyway. My mind turned to mush as I tried to take it all in. What the...? My eyes searched the towering figure that frighteningly resembled Jared. He had attempted to walk into the room unnoticed and had failed miserably. There is no question in my mind as to why. He was at least six foot four inches tall, maybe even six five, and nearly had to slouch to get into the doorway. His arm muscles showed clearly through his navy blue tee-shirt, clearly taunt and ready to spring into action any moment. It wouldn't do him justice to say that he was "broad shouldered" though I can't think of any other way to describe him. His dark hair was cropped short above his ears exposing his thick neck and strong cheek bones. His eyes...oh hell, his eyes. It really _was_ Jared! I would know those light, honey brown eyes anywhere. At the moment they were dancing around the classroom merrily taking in all of the awe struck faces that greeted him. I had a sneaking suspicion he was suppressing the urge to laugh. His eyes danced right over me though, not taking a moment to look at my surly dumb expression, which in the end I was rather grateful for. There was a low murmur of people whispering all around me and I turned my head from Jared(with effort) to look at Davy, whose mouth had fallen open so wide I was pretty sure he had unhinged his jaw. I smiled at the sight but then realized that my own mouth had fallen agape involuntarily as well. Straightening in my seat I snapped it shut. I didn't want to look like the rest of the gawking idiots but it was truly hard not to do.

I snuck another glance at him behind my shoulder, Jared seriously looked a good five if not eight years older. He even held himself differently, like he was confident, authoritative even. Ms. Saleem looked like a nervous little rabbit as she began to dart around the front of the room, trying to get her classes attention back. Poor woman. She wrapped her knuckles on the whiteboard, a few people turned but most of us continued to watch as Jared walked to his seat...right next to me. I felt my heart beat quicken on it's own accord as he brushed by me and I willed it to behave. I decided I would just concentrate on not looking at him. Yes, that ought to do the trick. I wouldn't even glance at him. Then maybe my palms would stop sweating. Unfortunately my plan failed miserably, for as Jared attempted to sit in his desk his leg accidentally bumped into the side of mine, sending my binder, notebook, and pen flying through the air. Well Jared buddy, that's what you get for doing too many steroids too quickly; less dexterity and more bulk to keep track of! I wont even mention the total havoc it can wreak on your hormone levels my friend! I said nothing and with a sigh knelt down to gather my strewn papers.

"God I'm sor-" He never finished his sentence. His eyes met mine as he turned to apologize and I looked up at him from my place on the floor. His eyes suddenly appeared glazed over. A mixture of, shock, terror, worry, and...something else, settled onto his expression. We were silent for a moment, a long moment, and I expected him to look away. He didn't. I felt a blush creep up my collar as his mouth fell open slightly, not unlike the way I was looking at him only a few moments ago. His eyes softened as he continued to stare into mine, something tender welling up in them. I finally felt so embarrassed I had to look away and back down at my papers. Maybe it was a bad trip? Was he hallucinating? Could steroids even do that to a person? I hadn't noticed at first but the moment I had broken eye contact with him he had knelt down beside me, slipping out of his desk quite gracefully to help me gather up my notebook. I looked up at him once more and saw that his perfect golden eyes were still boring into my face.

"Thanks." I muttered under my breath so quietly that it was barely audible. He must have heard me though because a huge grin escaped his lips, as though the sound of my voice gave him pleasure. Ludicrous I know. He swallowed hard and lifted my notebook in my direction. I took it gratefully, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear and smiling as I did so. He beamed back at me reveling his perfectly white teeth and a small dimple on his left cheek. I couldn't help but smile a bit wider and he seemed over joyed.

"You are welcome." He said plainly, but with what I can only describe as passion, even though both you and I both know it wasn't that. He continued to stare at me, as we sat eye level on the floor. I brushed my hands against my jean awkwardly and decided to try to get back to my desk; you know where most students sit during class. It felt like my limbs had turned to jelly as I tried to lift myself back into my seat. Thankfully I was able to do so without much complication. Jared must have taken that as his cue to do so too for one I rose he slipped softly back into his own desk as well. My stomach tightened as I straightened my books in front of me. I then opened one so that I could at least pretend to take notes. I felt Jared's eyes on me the whole time. That was when I started to get legitimately freaked out. What the hell? I don't think I woke up deformed this morning, but I could be wrong. Maybe I had a second head that I had failed to notice? My heart started beating uncontrollably as I tried to listen to Ms. Saleem's lesson on "The Lady Of Shallot", failing miserably. It's not my fault! I could not help the fact that in my peripheral vision the most gorgeous man I had ever encountered in my life was staring at me like I was some kind of mutant humanoid he had never seen before. Maybe it was because I forgot to put mascara on this morning? God, did I look so deplorable without it?

I finally resigned myself to the task of doodling on my notebook paper. If I was not going to get anything out of the lesson at least I could to something to keep me occupied from glancing to my right. Where _he_ was sitting. Halfway through my crappy little cartoon drawing of a tree he leaned over the aisle way between our desks. He was so large that his face was actually frighteningly close to my elbow. I probably could have felt his hot breath on my arm if I had not been wearing a sweatshirt.

"Hey your hurt!" His voice was filled with concern... like deep concern. In fact he said it with so much worry I momentarily became disturbed that I truly was hurt. I examined myself for some sort of mortal wound and realized that the statement was simply not true.

"No..." I couldn't think of what else to say. 'Um stop taking those hallucinogens your on' came to mind but I thought it best to keep that one to myself. I turned to look at him and was surprised when I saw the expression on his face. His brow was creased with great worry, eyebrows knit together and mouth pressed into a thin, unhappy line. His eyes flicked to mine for a moment and he noticed that I was confused. Not changing the expression on his face he pointed at a scab on my right forearm. I looked down and had to stifle a laugh. It was a gash that I had gotten a while back from climbing trees with Davy and my little sister. It had bled a little at the time, but after the initial Band-Aid had fallen off of it I hadn't given it much thought.

"Nah, it doesn't hurt anymore." I smiled to myself but hoped I hid it from him, he seemed so damned concerned I wasn't sure if he would find it humorous.

A a look of relief washed over his face, and though his eyes lingered on my large scab for a few more seconds he seemed satisfied with my answer. I wondered if this was what high people acted like.

Davy must have heard me whisper because he turned around in his seat to shoot me a questioning look. Usually I never spoke in class, especially not in English. When Davy saw the look on Jared's face and his body angled over the bar on his desk toward me, his eyes widened with shock. He raised his eyebrows in a curious manner and I shrugged in answer.

"I have no idea." I mouthed to him and he smiled, shaking his head and turning around in his seat once again. I knew that he was going to pester me after class for everything that happened. After all, Jared had just spoken his first words to me! Even if they were drug induced this was totally a day for the history books!

"You have no idea about what?" Jared asked, not even bothering to whisper any more. A few people around us looked at us questioningly and gave an innocent look in return.

I wracked my brain for a response as he sat there, just staring and waiting. "Oh..."I stuttered out like a fool. "It's—it's nothing."

Jared frowned, his eyebrows coming together once again. Apparently he was displeased with my response. Thankfully though, he said nothing. The last part of the class passed without event. If you can call the unnervingly beautiful eyes of Jared Dawyer staring at you unblinkingly for a solid thirty minutes uneventful. My stomach was doing somersaults in my chest(somewhere that a proper stomach simply does not belong) the whole time. I prayed that I hid my nervousness well. Jared's body remained pointed in my direction, his knees jutting out of his tiny desk so that he could face me. It was like...like I was something he had never seen before. I am sure that is not a good thing. I looked up at the clock, thankful that there was only a few moments before we got out of class. And for a weekend too. Thank God. Maybe Jared would get whatever was in his system out by Monday. The bell rung and I let out a loud sigh of relief. Jared's eyes though became panicked as he heard the bell ring. Apparently it had pierced thoughts and brought him back to reality. I began gathering my things. I glanced over at my shoulder at him for a moment and he looked like he was wigging out to the extreme. His hands were shaking, softly at first and then more violently and his eyes had grown as wide a saucers. He was clenching and unclenching his jaw as though there were so many words he wanted to say they all simply got caught in the back of his throat. I finally slipped my notebook into my bag and slung it over my shoulder. As I stood up to go Jared bolted up out of his chair with me.

"Uh...wait! Wait! Don't go." I raised my eyebrows in shock and apprehension and he looked like he instantly regretted his words. He slapped his hand to his forehead, clearly frustrated with himself and I shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. My eyes gluing themselves to the ground before me. People bustled past us on their way out of the class room, throwing curious glances at us over their shoulders as they went. I could feel Davy's gaze on me from the front of the classroom. My cheeks instantly flushed and I shoved my hands nervously in my pockets.  
"W-What's your name?" Jared took a step closer to me, and I automatically took a step back. His face fell even more (if that is possible) and he looked astonishingly hurt. His huge puppy dog eyes searched my face, pain clearly written on them.

"Kim." I answered softly looking back down at my toes, "I'm Kim."

He smiled at the sound of my voice once again, his worry momentarily lost. "Kim." He repeated it softly, slowly, like it was some sort of candy he was savoring the taste of. That glazed expression came back, and he wrung his hands together, "Kim."

"Yeah..." I stopped there, not knowing what else to say. After another moment of silence Davy finally marched over to me, placing a hand on my elbow to drag me away. He looked completely puny up against Jared giant frame.

"Well, as much fun as this has been," he glanced up at me giving me a roguish grin as he continued to pull me away from Jared. ",we really must get going now, you know after school activities and such. It's been a pleasure Jared. Truly." Davy said it all with a smile and I could not help but giggle. Leave it to my Davy to save me from an awkward situation. "Take care of yourself. Maybe get yourself to a doctor or something?"

Jared didn't seem to hear Davy's words though, much less be amused by them. He just stared after me, a horrified expression written upon his face. I thought for a moment he was going to be sick, or something worse, but he wasn't.

"Yeah take care." I muttered under my breath. Davy was practically pulling me out the door so I spared one last glance at Jared over my shoulder as we exited the room. He was just standing there, his tall frame towering in the middle of Ms. Saleem's class room. He continued staring after us. As I got farther away his huge shoulders slumped in pain as though someone had punching him in the gut.

The door closed behind us and Davy let out a whooping laugh, his hand still on my elbow. "That, my friend, is why we steer clear of drugs."

I laughed in response but couldn't help but look back through the sea of people towards Ms. Saleem's door. Jared had talked to me. He had really talked to me. I let my spirits soar for a moment before I let myself worry about how many braincells he probably killed with those drugs of his.

"That was just bizarre." And it was. That was really the only thing I could think of to describe that entire interaction. Bizarre.

**Well I was really concerned when I sat down to write this chapter but I must say I was pleased with the result. I like that what Kim says and what she is actually thinking are usually very different. Poor little Jared doesn't even know she thinks he's a total drug addict. Annyway the drama is basically all up here from here...Seriously I have it all planned out and this is a a few plot heavy chapters coming up so get ready for the ride. I am going to endeavor to throw some curve balls at you!(Don't worry it's not something dumb like Davy being in love with her, that is and shall always remain completely platonic).  
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**As always thank you so much for all of you who reviewed! Especially if it was your first time. I highly appreciate it! Your feed back is loved and cherished! Review! **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Uninvited Visitors and Confused Tutors

_True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of ones companion. _

President Gordon B. Hinckley

I would like to say that the whole fiasco with Jared failed to effect me after I walked out the door, but I am afraid that would simply be a lie. In truth, I thought about it a lot. I thought about his face in those last few moments as I walked away from him, and the way he had examined my simple scab. With a rush I thought about the way he had turned his legs in his desk in order to face me. More than all these things though, I thought about his unnervingly beautiful eyes. Even the simple image of them in my mind made my mouth go stone dry. Was it bad to have such a huge crush on a boy who was probably running drugs for Cuba or something? Probably, but I found myself caring less and less.

"Kimmy! Kimmy!" A small hand waving in front of my face hailed me back to reality. It was late Sunday morning, and Gracie and I sat on the couch participating in our usual Sunday morning tradition of watching cartoons in our pajamas. A bowl of now soggy Coco Puffs sat in my lap, untouched.

"You haven't even been eating your cereal!" Gracie said indignantly once she was sure I was listening.

I glanced down at my bowl and offered my little sister an innocent smile. "I.. um..I forgot about it."

She clicked her tongue disapprovingly and lifted a hefty spoonful of her own cereal into her little mouth. I tell you for such a young child, she could certainly pack it down there.

"Smaller bites piggy!" I laughed and reached over to ruffle her black hair. In appearances I guess you could say Gracie and I were similar. We had both received more from the Native American side of the gene pool than my brother had. Both my sister and I had our mother's tan skin and long straight hair that would not curl no matter how many bottles of hairspray you wasted on it. Also like me Gracie had long, lanky limbs for her age, and I prayed for her sake she would grow into them. It's a pain in the ass being a tall woman. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. One of the huge differences between us though was in our eyes. Where Gracie had received my mother's enchanting dark, almost black eyes, I had inherited my fathers, a dull green color that didn't seem to match the rest of my appearance (in my opinion). I could tell already that Gracie was going to grow up to be far more beautiful than me. All things considered though, I don't think we could ever deny that we were related.

"Kimmy stop!" She swatted at my hand and giggled at the same time. I smiled back at her, and looked down once again at my soggy cereal, deciding it was probably best not to attempt to eat it. Making a bit of a face I stood gracelessly from the couch.

"I think I'll just make waffles." Wandering into the kitchen I placed the bowl in the sink to rinse it out. Our house was small to be sure, but we all did our best (except Alex of course) to keep it tidy. Mom liked it that way, and it helped us all not feel as cramped. I continued doing dishes for a little while, knowing my mother would appreciate the help. Gracie's giggles from the adjoining room entertained me, even though I had to "sush" her a few times due to the fact that mom was still sleeping right upstairs. It had been a long week for us all, so I couldn't blame her for wanting to sleep in.

As I was about elbow deep in soapy water my cell phone lit up and buzzed from the kitchen table. Cursing under my breath I dried my hands quickly, answering it just in time.

"Hello?" I pressed the small device to my ear while simultaneously shutting the dish washer with my foot.

"Morning sunshine!" Davy's ever cheerful voice greeted me from the other side.

"Oh hi!" I said, excited to hear from him. He had been busy for the majority of the weekend with family stuff so I was grateful to hear his voice.

"What are you doing today?" He asked almost lazily, knowing my answer already I am sure.

I sighed, "Well I have to help out around the house a little bit, but once mid-afternoon rolls around I should be free. Why?"

I could almost see Davy's smile from the other end of the phone. "Marvelous! My family is all going on an outing to Port Angeles tonight and they wanted to make sure that you knew we all expect you to come along."

I smiled at the thought. Spending time with Davy's family was always the perfect get away. His mother and father practically treated me like their own child. Not to mention his older sister had basically decided it was her destiny to take me under her wing. I was terribly fond of each and every one of them.

"I will be there for sure."

Davy laughed, "Good, because it wasn't an option. Five o'clock? My house?"

"It's a date!" I heard him chuckle from the other end of the line one more time before flipping my phone shut with a snap. This was perfect. Just what I needed in fact. I was always jumping at the chance to get out of La Push, and a delightful evening with a family I loved almost as much of my own was bound to make it even better. Maybe it might even distract me from thinking about Jared...just maybe. God, I am really on a new level of pathetic aren't I?

I spent the rest of the day waiting in anticipation for five o'clock to roll around. Gracie and I spent most of the morning together doing nothing in particular. Nevertheless we were both rather distraught once my mother finally woke up with a list of things for us to get done for the day. Alex of course did not meander out of bed far after noon, but I was pleased to see he was in a rather agreeable mood. It is truly a miracle what a good nights sleep can do for a teenage boy. My mother's "to do" list turned out to be _so _long that it kept me busier that I had initially thought it would. In fact I had been so distracted that I was happily shocked when I caught sight of my clock reading 4:45. With a jolt of surprise I rushed up to my room to prepare for my night out.

Davy's older sister, Sarah, always gave me a hard time about "dressing too plain" so I chose a pair of my more fashionable jeans and a trendy little tee-shirt she herself had picked out for me on a previous Port Angeles trip in the attempt to make her proud. I was just running a brush through my long, tangled hair when I heard a knock on the front door downstairs. I looked up in shock. Had it really taken me that long to get ready? And had we not agreed that we would meet at his house? Assuming it was a simple change of plans I gathered my purse before rushing down the stairs. I jumped down the last few with a loud "thud" before reaching out for the door handle.

"Hey!" I said flinging the door open, expecting to see Davy's smiling face...

Boy was I wrong.

The sight that greeted me literally made me jump in surprise. My voice caught in my throat as my eyes assessed the strange scene. It was Jared. Jared Dawyer. Standing on my porch. His large shoulders were hunched in an attempt to shield the rest of his body from the rain that was currently falling on his head. His eyes instantly snapped to mine when I flung open the door and he looked greatly pleased with my flamboyant greeting. His perfect teeth were all revealed in a giant smile I was sure must have hurt his cheeks.

"Hi Kim." His eyes danced over me (or at least I think they did) and I noticed him swallow hard.

I stood there like a special needs person, eyes wide, mouth slightly ajar with shock. Come on Kimmy come on! Think of something painfully witty to say!

Damn. I had nothing. I instantly looked at my toes.

What the hell? What the hell! What the _hell_?

Jared must have noticed that I was not about to respond to his greeting because he began a hurried explanation. "I'm sorry to just show up at your house like this, but...uh you left your notebook in class the other day and I had to come give it to you... You know in case you needed the homework or something."

I noticed that was not explanation to the fact that he knew where I lived , or the fact that he had waited until Sunday evening to decide to help me out with my missing homework, but at least it was something. Jared stretched out a hand to offer me my spiral bound French notebook. I smiled shyly and took it from his hands.

"Thank you so much." I forced myself to be polite. It would do me no good to have this boy thinking I was a mute.

The dimple in his left cheek deepened at the sound of my voice.

"That was...uh..really thoughtful of you." I wracked my brain for something to say. God please think of something to say. Suddenly it came to me, the epiphany of what normal people do in a situation like this!

"Would you...uh...like to come in Jared?"

I was surprised at how quickly he moved. Before I even had time to step back and open the door farther he was in my house standing at my shoulder. I could not help but raise my eyebrows in surprise and curiosity. He was certainly an eager little one! I wracked my brain for reasons that he could be here, at my house with a pathetic excuse like a binder. Maybe he had read my Methamphetamine article and knew I was the Rez expert? Maybe he wanted to see my house...so his mother could evict us or something? Did she even have the power to do that? Maybe he was just truly concerned with my education in foreign languages...

I expected him to walk further into my house but he didn't. He simply stood there, halfway through the doorway and halfway out. Right in front of me. I could not help but get a bit uncomfortable at his closeness. He wasn't close enough to touch me of course, though his hand had reached out a few times like he was going to.

No, he was a respectable distance away but I could not help but feel for the type of relationship we had, which was none at all, or classmates at best, he was standing a bit closer than normal social protocol light blue shirt (which set off his dark skin tone quite nicely I must add) was the only thing directly in my line of sight. I practically had to crane my neck to catch a glimpse of his face**. **He was still smiling at me, though something more serious settled into his features as he studied me.

"I like your home." He stated politely after looking around for a moment. The second his eyes left my face I felt slightly relieved but it wasn't long until they settled on me again.

"Thanks," I shrugged, once again wracking my brain for something to say. "I spent most of my day cleaning it so it means a lot." Ha! That was a full fledged sentence right there. And even a bit of sarcasm! Who said Kimberly Connweller was not good at thinking on her feet?

Jared's large shoulders shook as he chuckled. " Well it looks great." He assured me with a genuine tone. I couldn't help but smile. I knew our house was nothing impressive so he was just trying to be polite.

"Can I g-" my next statement was cut off by the loud sound of my cell phone ringing. A resounding chorus of "Don't Stop Believing" screamed from my purse. I crimson blushed over took my face as I quickly looked away from Jared in order to rummage through my purse to find the sorce of the noise. I found it just as Journey encouraged me one last time to "hold on to that feeling" and it finally shut off.

I glanced down at the screen for a moment, it read:

_One missed call from: Davy Bear._

I sighed. For the time Jared had been here I had totally forgotten about dinner! I wasn't about to stand up the entire Blaine family or make them wait for their night out, but I had no desire to kick Jared out of my home either. I shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, the action did not go unnoticed. He glanced at my purse slung over my shoulder and it dawned on him.

"Your headed out." He stated quite matter-of-factly. I could not help but think he looked rather crest fallen.

I nodded slowly, reaffirming the statement.

"I am so sorry! Don't let me keep you!" He stepped to the side as though to give me leave to exit my own house.

I waved my hand in the air, dismissing the thought. "Don't be sorry! I do have to run, but thank you so much for bringing me my book!"

Something serious had settled into Jared's brow again as I took a step for the door. I took another step and it was like he panicked, grabbing my arm lightly to turn be back around. I shied away from his scorching touch, not only because I was not expecting it, but because it literally was that... Scorching. He must have a raging fever. As I retracted from his hand Jared knew he had made a mistake. He physically winced before pulling his hand away from my bare arm with a snap.

"Sorry...I...uh..." He raised a large hand to rub the back of his neck as though he was thinking of the right words to say. Finally he took a deep breath and started over. "Kim, I have a question for you."

He paused again and I nodded, trying to encourage him. Here it comes. The real reason he came here I am sure.

"Well you see, I was gone from school a long time, out with Mono you know, and I was wondering if you could...erm... help me get caught up? I mean, I missed a ton of work in our English class, I don't even know where to start. I thought maybe you could like...tutor me or something?" His voice was very serious and I could not help but think his little speech sounded a bit rehearsed. It all made sense now! Basically, he was here so that he could copy all my homework from English class. My brain did that math quickly as it all began to add up. The reason he was being so nice to me was because he would probably flunk out without my help. I was slightly hurt by this realization but said nothing and hoped it didn't show on my face. It must have though because Jared became increasingly more worried. He backtracked instantly.

"If you don't have time or whatever that's cool too."

I shook my head, slowly adjusting to the idea of helping him in school. For only a fleating moment I had let myself believe we were going to be friends, hell I thought for a few milliseconds that maybe he was interested in me, but this made a lot more sense.

** "**No, no it's fine. I've got time. I don't mind helping at all. Just let me know when you want to meet."

Jared let out a sigh of relief, I am sure because he now knew he wasn't going to have to repeat a grade, and thanked me fervently before walking back out to my porch.

"Thank you so much Kim that is...well that's just awesome. How does tomorrow after school sound?"

I hadn't thought he was going to be so eager to start but nodded in agreement anyway. The kid must be really behind. "Sounds perfect. I'll see you then."

He smiled again but I noticed a hint of pain in his eyes as we said our goodbyes. I was left leaning my back against my front in amazement. Looking down at the notebook in my hand I could not help but wonder how he had gotten it. I was almost sure I had left it in my locker.

**Ok so writers block to the extreme with the chapter. I seriously re-wrote it three times. Sorry that it is terrible. **

**Thank you for the reviews! You are all amazing. I have heard a lot of positive feedback about Davy and that just makes me smile because I basically love him. The next chapter should be easier for me to write, in fact I already like it a bit more than this one, so don't give up on me just yet. **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Morning After Dark

_Never frown because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile. _

- Justine Milton

I don't think I have ever been more excited for a Monday morning in my entire life. That night I found myself turning in bed, mind whirling with the possibilities of the day to come. I found Jared's face floating into my mind. Ever since he had turned up at my house my head had been full of him. His sent as he stood close to me in the doorway, his burning touch against my arm, the way his dimple seemed to deepen whenever I laughed. Jared. Why did I care so much? Why did he have such an effect on me? I had a simple school girl crush on him since freshman year, yes, I will admit it. But was worse now some how. It almost felt like there was some sort of leash around my neck, pulling my thoughts in his direction, and no matter how much I dug my heals in the leash always one. I closed my eyes, willing sleep to come and his honey brown eyes floated through my mind once more.

I could not help but sit up in my bed and sigh in frustration. This was not healthy. Not OK. It certainly wasn't _normal._ Up until this point he had never said more than a few words to me. I didn't know him at all, and you can't like someone you don't know anything about...right? I am a logical kind of girl. I think with my head, and none of this situation was sitting well with that certain body part at the moment. My heart would sing at his attention and my head would simply bat it down, bringing me back to reality. I knew the answer to why Jared was talking to me. He wanted to pass his Junior year at La Push High. It was as simple as that. I was a means to an end for him and nothing more. Still my heart was annoyingly ever present in the back of my mind. It would whisper reminders of his stares, glances, and movements.

My tired limbs were screaming for sleep, but my head continued it's uncontrollable racing. Jared kept careening through my thoughts, like a freight train with no brakes.

After running a frustrated hand through my tangled hair I flopped back down onto my pillows. I had to at least attempt to get some sleep. Grinding my teeth I willed myself to relax. Funny how that didn't help at all. I turned on my side, facing the window and the stars gleamed down at me. Something about them always made me feel relaxed, at peace even. I stayed that way, staring up at the stars until I felt myself fully relax. Slowly, ever so slowly I felt my head begin to nod and my eyes begin to grow heavy. I began to loose my senses as my head lolled against the pillow. Right as sleep was about to overtake me though, a frighteningly loud howl came from outside. The animal was clearly very close. I jumped up in surprise, my pulse quickening at the ear piercing sound. A shiver ran up my spine. There had been reports of animal attacks from the near by town of Forks and I could not help but wonder if those wild animals had finally wandered their way onto our quiet reservation. In curiosity I rose from my bed, kicking my covers unceremoniously off my legs as quickly as I could manage. With one fluid motion I grabbed a flashlight off my bed side stand and pressed my nose against the glass of my window. The howl had sounded uncannily close. It had been too loud to come from any more than a mile away. I swallowed hard before flipping on my flashlight and letting it roam around the back of my house...where the woods started. I didn't know what I was looking for, but for some reason I was hoping to find something.

I wasn't disappointed.

As my flashlight fanned the near wood it caught a pair of gleaming bright eyes. Their reflection was so bright against the night that there was no missing them. It looked as though their stare was right on me, piercing my very being. I gasped in shock and dropped my flashlight with a thud. My heart was beating so quickly I felt like it might pound through my chest.

There was a freaking wild animal, known for mauling and killing people in _my_ backyard. I had a fleeting thought to call the police or Rez security, but the illogical and more immediately pleasing idea of diving back into my bed and hiding my head underneath my covers seemed much more rewarding. I felt myself tremble a bit as I clutched the covers over my head, like a small child hiding from a monster in their closet.

My breath began to come back to me at a normal rate after a few minutes, and after a while I finally felt brave enough to emerge a bit from underneath my comforter. My eyes flicked to the window and then away again, afraid of what they might find. Was it gone? Why was something like that so close to housing residents? I mean I know La Push and Forks are not booming metropolises or anything, but you would think we were populated enough to keep wild animals at bay.

I felt myself go ridged once again as there was another cry from the woods, sounding as though it came from the same animal.

At least this time it sounded a lot farther off.

"I'm telling you Davy! It was a freaking creature of the night or something. I almost had a hernia!" I wagged my half eaten piece of pizza across the lunch table towards him for effect.

He of course only took enough time from eating his salad to throw his head back and laugh, which in turn made me quite defensive. No one seemed to believe my little story, which of course left me a bit flustered.

"No, I totally believe it." Interjected Kate from next to me. Track people were much more tolerable when Davy was around to make faces at. " They found another hiker near Forks. Dead as they come. They say it's an animal attack that did it." Most of the table shuttered involuntary. Kate continued her story. "I guess they have some search group out looking around there, my dad said even a few of the Counsel members are helping out. I guess they should be looking here on the Rez too."

Leave it to Kate to be down with all the latest gossip. I must admit she was quite handy to have around sometimes.

"Do they know what it is?" I asked curiously, wondering what sort of animal had a howl to turn your blood to ice and eyes the size of boulders.

"I guess they said it's most likely bears? I don't know though. Doesn't sound like you heard a bear." Kate stated this quite mater-of-factly and I felt a smile rise in my cheeks. Nothing got past her did it?

"It sounded more like...like a wolf or something." I couldn't really put into words how the eerie sound had effected me. The thought of it still made my spine tingle with a bit of fear and...something else I couldn't put my finger on. There was a silence that followed, the rest of the table clearly not knowing what to say. I caught Davy's eye and was about to say something when my thoughts were cut short.

"Dear God, Kim! I don't know if you have been paying attention but that Jared kid has been staring over here at you for like...all of lunch." Shelbi's eyes were wide with what must have been shock at something happening behind my head. She was seated next to Davy, facing me, and I suppose Jared as well. I was shocked by her exclamation and turned to see if it was true. I turned in my seat and looked over my shoulder. Shelbi hadn't lied.

There was Jared, seated at a table in the far corner of the cafeteria with Paul, his counterpart in the looks department. I caught my breath as his smoldering gaze caught mine and almost looked away before I saw his face brake into a ridiculous grin. It was like his whole face lit up when he noticed I was looking at him.

I could not help but smile widely as he waved an exuberant hand in my direction. I raised an unsure hand myself, answering the gesture clearly but with much less enthusiasm. I think I saw Paul scoff.

I had to look away, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks.

"My God! Are you guys like _friends_ or something?" Kate asked quite loudly. I "shushed" her in fear that they might hear, even though it was quite irrational considering they were sitting in the opposite corner of the cafeteria.

"No! Not at all!"I protested almost as loudly. "It's not like that. I am just helping him get caught up, you know because he was sick for so long. It's really not a big deal I swear." That's what I had told everyone. Even myself.

"Yeah yeah we have heard it all before." Davy waved a dismissive hand in the air. "But he is either staring at the back of your head longingly...or he is making sexy eyes at me." The table burst out into laughter as Davy continued, raising a hand to silence us. "I am far more comfortable with the idea that it is the former though, considering it would be far less disturbing for us all."

The whole table erupted again and I felt that annoying place on my neck grow hot. I glanced over my shoulder one more time, hoping to do it quickly enough that I could easily pretend I hadn' didn't work. Everyone else seemed to follow my line of sight and soon four pairs of questioning eyes searched Jared and Paul's table.

"God! Would you guys stop!" I scolded them for being so obvious about their staring. They turned away and we all leaned in to continue the conversation. Like it wasn't clear enough before that we were gossiping about them right? Why did I have to be friends with the least subtle people in all of creation?

"Oh man, now he's looking away... he doesn't look too happy about it either." Davy said, keeping me informed on the scene behind my back. I scoffed. Of course he wasn't looking at me. And if he had been before he certainly was not doing it _longingly_. He was probably just zoning out and it happened to be in my direction. I did crap like that all the time. Didn't everyone?

"You guys!" I hissed, "calm down. I swear it's not a big deal. He just wants to pass English. That's all."

"Well at least you get to spend time with him." Kate said dreamily batting her eyes slightly and looking over her shoulder in their direction again. "I would kill for that chance, even if it was because of homework."

"Yeah!" Shelbi chimed in looking increasingly more excited as the discussion went on, " Maybe once you are friends with Jared you could get him to hang out with us...and Paul too. Wouldn't that be great?"

Once again I scoffed at the notion and remembered why Davy and I chose to eat alone sometimes. These girls must be seriously deprived romantically. Too much teen fiction anyone?

I felt my nerves grow increasingly thin and decided it was best to make a graceful exit while I still had the chance. I gave Davy and apologetic look as I stood up. "Look, I have some books to pick up in the library. I am just going to go and let you all... talk amongst yourselves. Just... don't blow this tiny little thing out of proportion OK?"

They all grumbled their agreement and I gathered my books under my arm and took my leave from the cafeteria. Happy to have a hallway all to myself. Of course I didn't really have anything to do in the library, but it seemed like a good excuse. I didn't think I could stand their insufferable teasing and day dreaming any longer. Boys like Jared and Paul just did not associate with people like...

"Hey Kim wait up!"

I was making my way to where my locker was located when a voice calling my name interrupted my thoughts. It was none other than the boy that caused my present dilemma.

"Oh, Jared! Hey." I shuffled my feet a bit nervously but stayed put until he had run up to my side smiling brightly. His own backpack was slung haphazardly over his shoulder and he held it in place with one massive hand. He must have gotten up from his table in a rush considering he had not even bothered to zip it closed.

"Where you going?" He looked at me curiously, as though it was the strangest thing someone would leave the cafeteria during lunch hour.

"Oh, just to my locker." I explained, indicating that we were indeed near it. He of course wouldn't know that though.

"Really?" He asked, running a hand through his raven hair, "not uh...not to the library huh?"

I laughed at this and he fell in step with me, easily keeping up with my long strides.

"No, not to the library. Why? Do I look like the kind of girl who just spends her lunches in the library?" I teased. Oh my goodness I totally just teased! This whole talking to Jared thing was getting to be a bit easier! I must say I quite proud of myself considering his presents was nearly intoxicating, even though we were probably the worst setting in the world...the hallway of a high school.

Jared looked like he instantly regretted his words and began to back track immediately.

"No! No you don't look like that kind of person at all! Not that it would be a bad thing if you were you know...because the library can be...cool. I mean if you like it..." I found myself chuckling at how flustered he had become. He seemed almost more nervous than me, if that is even possible.

"It's OK Jared, really. I have no great love for the library. At least not the pathetic one at this school." I wrinkled my nose in distaste. La Push residents were not know to be great collectors of literature, and certainly not in the high school library. We were kind of more into the oral tradition of story telling, much to my disdain. I swear, if I have to go to one more bon fire just to here Billy Black talk about crappy science fiction I will probably scream.

Jared seemed satisfied with my answer and simply smiled as a response. I found my eyes searching for his dimple before I forced myself to look away and down at my feet. As we reached my locker I slowed my pace and placed my bag on the floor in front of it. He stopped as well and we stood there in an awkward silence for a moment.

"Where are you headed?" I asked quietly after the painfully nerve wracking moment of his eyes boring into my face.

"Oh...just uh... I just...Actually Kim, I just wanted to talk to you." For a while it looked like he was wracking his head for an excuse, but I guess he decided to go with the truth. I glanced up at him in surprise, my green eyes widening. He was probably just going to ask if we could skip the tutoring and go straight to him copying my homework.

"I was wondering if we were still on for today? You know...after school?" He looked down at me with almost pleading eyes.

I recovered from my shock and awkwardly tucked a piece of dark hair behind my ear. Jared wet his lips. I had to swallow hard before responding. "Yeah! Of course!" I finally managed to squeaked my response out. Once again I had to force myself to look away from his face.

Jared looked greatly relieved. "Perfect! Where do you want to meet?" He chuckled. "I am guessing not the school library."

I pressed my lips together and thought for a moment, before spitting out the first thing that came to mind. "How about my house? I have to drive my little brother home anyway so you could just follow me? If that's convenient for you of course."

He almost interrupted me in his excitement to answer. "That's great! Better than great!"

I had to laugh at his clear enthusiasm. Who knew Jared Dawyer was so freaking excited about getting makeup work done? I never would have guessed it. He's a studious little bugger I suppose.

"Then it's settled than." I turned to my locker to begin my combination pressing my lips together in concentration. My hands felt like putty though for I could feel Jared's eyes on my back, inspecting my every move. I could hear him shuffling his feet a bit behind me and then he finally cleared his throat.

"Hey Kim?"

I turned from my combination to see that he had gotten closer to me. It was like the whole doorway extravaganza all over again. The sent of pine trees, mint, and something very spicy washed over me. I could not help myself when I leaned in a bit closer to take a deep breath. Thankfully Jared didn't seem to notice, his eyes were glazed over with something I could not place.

"Yes?" I whispered, for some reason not wanting to interrupt the strangely intimate moment.

"You don't have to be afraid of the woods behind your house." I looked at him curiously, wondering how he had heard my story. I guess word gets around in a small school. With gossips like Kate around it probably should be no surprise.

He leaned in a bit closer and I felt my pulse quicken. "I uh...I don't like it when you are afraid."

His words made my heart beat faster than the howl of any wild animal.

**So I totally planned this chapter to move their relationship a long a bit faster but Jared and Kim have a mind of their own in this story and insist on being intolerably slow :). I kind of like it though, makes it feel a bit more realistic. **

**This chapter is dedicated to Ally Leigh, whose reviews never fail to offer great feed back as well as make me smile, and Bible Chick who is a new reader who took time to review every chapter! You girls are great and I appreciate you so much!**

**Also, I added some pictures up on my profile of how I imagine my characters (at the suggestion of Bible Chick) so go check it out. Kim's eyes are blue in the picture, and Davy should be a bit tanner but those are the only adjustments I would make. Let me know what you think of the pictures, chapters, life...whatever. You know I love it when you review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

You're Barely Breathing

"_It's not my fault I love you, it's yours."_

_Anonymous_

" Would you _shut up_ Alex! It's not like that and you know it!" I don't think my brother and I have had a screaming match quite to the caliber of this one since he shoved my face into my eighth birthday cake. Even then I think less profanity was used.

"You are such a damn moron Kim. A blind, deaf, and mentally disturbed man could see that you can't get enough of each other." I bristled. Really, since when did Alex decide to become so perceptive about human interactions? He usually never cared to take his headphone off long enough to notice anything!Then again I had never hung out with a boy other than Davy before. And everyone knew Davy didn't count as male anyway, at least not in my life. You can't ever think of someone romantically if you were basically potty trained with them. It simply wouldn't be right and screams against all things normal...but that's beside the point.

It had been a week and a half since Jared and I had our first tutoring session. To my own shock it had all gone quite smoothly at first. The bell would ring, dismissing us from Miss Saleem's class, Jared would gather my books for me, we would walk to my locker, I would drag Alex away from his sketchy looking friends, and Jared would follow us in his car to our house where we would hit the books. We usually studied either until dinner or I had to go pick Gracie up from school. It became quite the routine. Jared was actually a very bright kid, not totally lacking in the writing skills department, and I could not help but wonder why he had enlisted my help at all. He would have been perfectly capable on his own I am sure. Still, whenever the day was over he thanked me fervently for my help, and promised he could not do it on his own. It was good enough for me. Anyway, it gave us the chance to spend a great deal of time together.

It wasn't until about day four that things started getting a little...well a little more than I bargained for. I had noticed that I was time to pick Gracie up from school and apologized profusely to Jared as I began to take my leave. That was when he suggested that he just come along, and then we could just work on homework when we all got back. I reluctantly agreed, a little bit wary about my sister's fairly large mouth. She of course was beguiled by Jared from the beginning and I feared them in such close quarters as a car. Still, things all went smoothy that day... until my mother got home. She hadn't met Jared yet because he always seemed to be gone by the time she was home from work, but this time things were different. She was almost worse than Gracie. She stared at him quite openly, even when he did notice and shift uncomfortably in his seat next to me and gave me the thumbs up a few times when she thought his back was turned...once time it wasn't. I almost threw up out of embarrassment but thought better of it, knowing it would probably not help my plight. Jared seemed to think it all quite hilarious and I was horrified. Mom of course invited him to dinner, an invitation which I instantly revoked, knowing that Jared had many other places he wanted to be than eating dinner in the Connweller residence. To my surprise he instantly agreed to my mothers proposition. I thought I was going to throw up again.

From that moment it was "have you seen the way he looks at you?" and "oh Kimberly he is such a nice boy". My mom probably had a bigger crush on him for me than I did, I must say it gets quite tiresome.

Jared practically had my entire family wrapped around his finger by day six and I constently tried to remind them that he would be headed for the hills once all of his assignments were finished. They all disagreed. Even Alex.

In all honesty as time wore on I became more...afraid of Jared. I say "afraid" because I simply have no other adjective that can quite describe the way that I feel. It's not the shaking in your boots "I just heard a killer wild animal in my backyard" kind of afraid it's more like... more like knowing you've floated away from shore just a little to far and it won't be long until you are in over your head.

I was afraid of how much I let myself feel for him. I was afraid of the emotions he stirred up in my belly, I was afraid of how his touch, a graze of the hand here, a brush of the leg there, befuddled me completely. I found in the time that we spent together than Jared was more than just some boy. He was kind, infinitely caring to my mother, Gracie and me, he was smart, and most of all, he could always make me laugh. I am aware that's not really the most difficult task known to man but it feels like whenever he is around I am smiling. And whenever I was smiling he was smiling. That was one thing I noticed about Jared, though it may sound odd. When I was happy, it seemed to make him happy. When I was frustrated he was concerned, and when I was quiet he was always prodding my mind for my thoughts. It was kind of nice, in a weird ,unexplainable way.

Yes, I had gotten more than I had bargained for indeed. Especially knowing the fact that he did not feel the same way. Sure, we had forged a friendship, and a good friendship at that, but I could never see it materializing into more on his end...

Right? I could never let myself hope that it would, because if I did, I feared the disappointment when it indeed was not a reality.

On the bright side, things had become increasingly less awkward. We could walk and talk totally at ease with one another until other people got involved and started cracking jokes behind our backs they thought we couldn't hear. I would always tense up when I heard people whispering about us as we walked by them in the hallway and that always made Jared upset...sometimes even angry. Nevertheless, he seemed to _want _ to be seen with me. He even introduced me to his best friend, Paul! The interduction was horribly awkward; there was a great deal of staring from Paul's end, and for a short moment I was sure that I was going to pee my pants, but all in all for meeting Paul Vega I thought I handled myself quite well. I mean, I am not good at talking to people I don't know and it's not as though Paul has the most welcoming demeanor in the world. Regardless, Jared seemed pleased and I guess that's all either of us could have asked for.

And then there was Alex.

From about day six Alex swore on his own grave (which I reminded him frequently he didn't have) that we were secretly dating and just didn't want to tell anyone.

By day seven his conspiracy theory had dripped over to Gracie and my mother. It was awful. There was no rest in my home from the intolerable teasing and accusations. Even Davy agreed with them. What was with these people? Do they not realize that I am Kim Connweller and he is Jared Dawyer? People like us just don't end up together!

" He needs help in school or he is going to flunk out. I've told you that a million and a half times!"

Alex crossed his arms and scoffed in my direction. "That is such bull. Do you actually get yourself to believe that crap or are you only lying to me?"

I sighed in frustration and stomped my foot on the floor (real mature I know). There was just no getting through to these people! "Whatever, you are just trying to get on my nerves." I could be bigger than this...right? I could walk away...yeah that's what I was going to do, I would walk away. I turned to stomp my way up the stairs, but Alex was not quite done yet.

"It wouldn't get on your nerves if you would just admit you are crazy about him." His tone was softer now, but it held a patronizing sting to it that made my blood boil. I whipped around, my black hair catching me in the face as I did so.

"Alexander Gavin Connweller..."

Lucky for him that was when my mother walked through the door. It did not take her long to assess the scene. Alex's arms crossed over his chest leaning down in my direction; my legs rigid and hands balled into fits and face blue with rage. Like any good mother would, she soon took action, placing herself in between her warring offspring.

"Now now!" She held up her hands to put more space between us. "What is all of this about?" Her dark eyes looked tired and worn. For a moment I felt guilty for simply making things more complicated for her. I relaxed a little, letting my eyes fall to the kitchen tile instead of boring into Alex's face (in the hopes I could evolve into a higher species and pierce him with laser vision).

"Alex won't leave me alone about Jared." My voice came out more whiny then I had originally intended it to and I grimaced at the sound. It was not unlike the way Gracie sounded when she didn't want to do homework. I made a mental note to never do it again.

"Now Alex y-" My mother began but Alex was quick to parry my claim.

"I wouldn't bug her about it so much if she would just admit that they're are dating. I mean come on! I walked into the kitchen today and she was basically sitting on his lap 'helping him with homework'." He put air quotes around the statement and I bristled again.

I had not been sitting on Jared's lap! Leaning close to him so that I could read what he had written about Lady of Shallot maybe, but certainly not lap sitting. At best there may have been some shoulder touching. Did he have to be so dramatic about everything?

"Mom that is not true, don't believe a word of it! And we aren't dating so there is nothing to admit _Alexander_!"

I had to suppress the urge to stick my tongue out at him, that would certainly get me nowhere.

"Fine fine!" My mother raised her hands higher in the air. "You know what? This conversation is done. Go to your rooms, or help me cook dinner but just...take some time to cool off OK?"

Alex and I both grumbled but turned on our heels to march up to our respective rooms without word to each other. If there was one thing my mom was good at it was knowing how to stop fights. A gift she had received through many years of practice I am sure. I marched up the stairs loudly and slammed the door behind me.

Why _did _the whole Jared situation get me so worked up? Why couldn't I just let it go? I was used to Alex's relentless teasing in every other aspect of my life and I was usually quite good at rolling with the punches. Still, whenever he talked about Jared and I, I became increasingly defensive. Could it be because there was an inkling of truth to what he was saying?

No...no of course not. This is Jared Dawyer we are talking about. First and foremost he is way out of my league in the looks department. Second of all I am pretty sure his parents would murder me and him if we decided to date. And last but not least I had a feeling Paul was not very fond of me, not to mention Davy's skepticism on the matter, and everyone knows the best friends seal of approval is always important. No, it wouldn't ever happen. There is just too much going against us. I'm OK with being friends with him though. Hell it's a lot more than I had ever expected, so I'm really not complaining.

Heaving a sigh I flopped down onto my bed, burying my face in the soft pillows as I did so. Part of me just couldn't wait for Jared to be completely caught up so that none of this would even be an issue anymore. Another part of me, a larger part perhaps, was dreading going back to the girl he sat next to in English.

I heard loud, screaming music come from Alex's room across the hall and glared in frustration. He was always listening to his music too loud, and it got worse when he was angry. Half of my mind was set on going to bang on his door when there was a soft knock on my own.

"Come in." My voice was muffled by the pillow that lay across my face. I could tell by the soft footsteps and tender knock that it was my mother.

She entered the room and offered me a sheepish smile before sitting on the end of my bed. I raised my head to look at her, and could not help but grin back at her. She was so strong for us all, but there was always something soft about her as well. She was the perfect balance between strength and grace. I sat up so I could look her in the eye, clutching a soft pillow to my stomach.

"I'm sorry I let things get out of hand like that." I began, guilt riding on my conscience, "I just...things escalated. You know how Alex and I get."

So it wasn't much of an apology ( for I wasn't sorry for anything I had said to _him_) but it would have to do.

My mom chuckled and shook her head a bit. "Kimmy, I'm not here to talk about the fight, though it's not the best thing to come home to." I looked up at her with questioning eyes. My mom usually never came up into my room unless she had something really important to talk to me about. It was kind of an unspoken agreement in the Connweller household that our rooms were our sacred space to be shared with only the people we choose. Family members stayed out most of the time. It helped keep the peace surprisingly well. My mom raised her hand to stop me from speaking so that she could continue.

"Well, I've been working on this business deal in Chicago for quite some time now, you know, the one I am always talking about?" I nodded in understanding. We were all proud of how invaluable my mother had made herself to her boss and clients. "If everything goes as planned we will close the deal on Monday!"

I bounced up and down on my bed, quite excited for her. "Mom! That's great!" I was about to lean over and hug her when she stopped me, continuing once again.

"Since I have been working so closely on this project Garry asked me to fly out there for the weekend and tie up all the loose ends. He wants me to close out the deal. I mean Chicago Kimmy can you believe it!"

This time I could not contain myself. I nearly launched myself toward my mother and the corner of my bed, wrapping my arms around her neck exuberantly. Who said we couldn't do things on our own? My mom was an amazing business woman closing deals in Chicago! I highly doubt any one of those Elders have done _that_ before. I pulled away, only to hold her at arms length and beam at her with pride.

"Mom, that's incredible! I am _so _proud of you!" And I truly meant it.

* * *

After a few sunlit days of convincing my mother we would not burn the house down in her absence she finally felt comfortably enough to leave. Alex and I both made heartfelt promises that we would be well behaved, cook nutritious dinners, get along to the best of our abilities, and not have members of the opposite sex (minus Davy of course) over while she was away. All these things seemed to pacify her a bit, but I could tell when we all said goodbye to her that Friday morning that she was still a bit uncomfortable with the notion. She had never been away from the house without us before, and I think it was rather a frightening sensation for her.

Still, as we all stood on the porch waving goodbye I could not help but feel proud of her. She had worked hard for this opportunity, and we would hold down the Connweller fort as long as she needed us too...

Of course when, in that very same morning, we all showed up late for school with no guardian to excuse us, I might have thought differently for a moment... But that is beside the point.

Regardless, I walked through my day slightly excited. The prospect of having the house all to myself for a weekend didn't sound bad at all! Gracie had made plans to go stay with some friends for the weekend so they could take her to her soccer game and I was quite sure that I would see nothing of Alex until the moment my mother got home. Though the later made me a bit nervous I knew that Alex wasn't an _entirely_ stupid kid. Maybe he would just hang out and play mind numbing video games in the basement for the weekend. That wouldn't be half so bad. But who am I kidding. This is Alex we are talking about, and if mom isn't around I feel like his knack for finding trouble might just get out of hand. I just hoped he knew when to say no. I promised myself I would talk to him about it before he had the chance to run off.

I furrowed my eye brows and tried desperately to concentrate on my combination. This damn thing...

"Kim!" A voice from behind me proclaimed my name so loudly I almost dropped all the books that I had precariously balanced in one arm while simultaneously trying to open my ever stubborn locker with the other. With my free hand I clutched at my heart, turning to meet the face I had hoped would be there.

"Jared! Dear God!" I let out a bit of a laugh and he seemed a bit worried that he had frightened me. Once I laughed though all traces of worry melted away from his features.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kim. I was just excited to see you." That goofy grin I had become so fond of crossed his face. My heart softened, worries forgotten.

"It's fine, my mind was just...a little preoccupied." I tried to shoulder my backpack onto my back gracefully, but failed considering I still had a pile of books in one hand. I wound up just squirming awkwardly for a moment before giving up.

Jared must have noticed what I was trying to do for while I was still speaking he reached out and placed my strap securely on my shoulder. Patting it a little once it was in place.

My skin tingled where his hand had touched me.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked after grabbing my books from my hands before I could say anything. Sighing at his ever present chivalry I fell into step beside him. I could not help but notice that maneuvering the halls of La Push High with Jared was considerably easier than when I tried to do it on my own.

I glanced over my shoulder at him, thinking of how much to tell him, how much to let him in. I decided that the "not at all" route was best. "Oh, just stuff. It's no big deal."

He frowned a bit, his perfectly scorching eyes searching my face. He never liked it when I made excuses. He never liked it when I didn't let him in. Or at least that was the way it seemed.

We walked in a non too comfortable silence for a while before he turned to me with a determined air.

"Kim..." He was searching for his words again. He seemed to do that a lot throughout our tutoring sessions, though I had gotten increasingly better since the first day in the hall. He must have had something important to say though because he ran his hand behind his neck, something I noticed he did a lot whenever he was uncomfortable. He shut his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. I could tell whenever he had to say was going to be important, and hard for him to spit out.

"I uh...well we caught up on all of my homework as of yesterday...and I was wondering..."

Damn. Here it comes.

I knew this was going to happen. I _knew_ it.

He was going to say something like "so thank you for being dumb enough to help me out, can we go back to not talking?" I called it! I had seen this coming from day one! Why had I let myself believe that I could be friends with Jared Dawyer? I am a stupid girl. A stupid, no back bone, easily manipulated girl! The small part of me that had hoped he wasn't just using me wilted and my brain shouted in triumph "I told you so!". That's right little heart...we had tried to protect you, but you just had to go off and get attached to someone who doesn't care about you at all. Way to go. You so had this coming to you.

I tried to hide the lump that rose in my throat desperately but I knew he would notice. He notice everything. I gritted my teeth, hoping that the tears I felt welling in my eyes wouldn't be seen.

"I get it Jared." I choked out, hoping to God I sounded normal, "you don't owe me anything. I am glad you're all caught up. You...you're a smarter kid than you give yourself credit for."

There! That didn't sound like I was torn up inside about it now did it? He wouldn't ever have to know.

But he did. There was no fooling myself about that. The moment my throat had closed up he looked like he was going to be sick. At the sound of my words his shoulders seemed to slump lower and lower to the ground. If we are being honest he looked utterly pathetic. I couldn't handle it anymore as he looked down at me with pleading eyes. The tears in my eyes threatened to spill over at any moment and I knew I had to get myself out of there before it happened.

"I'll see you around Jared..." I turned to walk the opposite direction even though it was not toward my class and he was still holding my books. It didn't matter. I was in self preservation mode, and the most logical thing to do in this instance was to get myself to a girls bathroom, and fast. I began dodging students coming at me from the other direction, wiping at my eyes furiously. No, I am not crying about a boy in the middle of a crowded hallway! What are you talking about?

I tried to quicken my pace but Jared caught up with me quite easily. With little to no effort at all he seized my shoulder to spin me around to face him. I looked at him with wide eyes through my tears that I had still not allowed to fall. He looked sick and concerned as he held onto my shoulder firmly. It was not enough to hurt, but certainly hard enough that I could not wriggle out of it easily.

"Kim...I was only going to say that because I thought we could take the day off, you know do something fun together." He shook me gently as to punctuate the importance of what he was saying. I looked at the floor. Not willing to meet his eyes. He didn't like this and took a large hand to tilt my chin up so my eyes met his. Brown eyes met green once and we were both silent for a moment. He took a step closer, his hand never leaving it's place on my chin.

"I was going to ask you out!"

**Annnd I end it there. Because I am all sorts of mean like that. **

**No really, it was just the best place to end before the next chapter. Um I really don't have much to say. Please please, if you are taking time to read this story, review! It means a lot to me! Thank you so much for the people who do regularly! You guys rock!**

**I will get the next chapter up quicker I promise, I had to work a lot of hours this past week so I didn't have much time to write.**

**I have a question for you all this week. Simply out of curiosity, who is everyone's favorite wolf? **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

The Accident

_"Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones."_

-Irene

I stood dumbfounded for a long moment. My brain was slowly trying to process the words that had just escaped Jared's mouth. His fingers lingered on my chin, still holding it tenderly between his forefinger and thumb. His touch made it impossibly hard to think. Had he just-? Was this truly happening? My mouth went dry as I thought of how to respond but in that moment the tears that had welled up in my eyes finally dripped down my cheek, having no other path to follow. Before I even had time to duck my head and wipe them away Jared's thumb moved nimbly to my cheek, brushing them aside before they ever truly fell. His huge hand was surprisingly soft and just barely grazed the skin on my cheek. I felt heat rise up in my cheeks to meet the burning of his hand. The lump in my throat was gone and replaced with butterflies in my stomach. He was looking at me with such fervent concern I could not help but look away from his face, ashamed at my own dramatic reaction. I had never shed a tear about a boy in my life and here I was in the hallway, acting like some stupid middle school girl.

He stood there patiently though, his hand dropping unwillingly to his side and away from my face.

He was waiting for me to respond, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

My mind was whirling at such a great speed I could not even begin to verbalize what I was thinking. My first reaction is that I was dreaming, followed immediately with the thought that I should probably get my hearing checked. Then I looked at him again and could not help but feel like he was being serious. Oh God was he being serious? I wracked my brain for the correct words to say but all that came out of my mouth was, " You-? Uh...What?"

I finally forced myself to look up at him, his handsome face softened a bit and he smiled weakly at me. He was probably just doing anything in his power to keep me from crying again. It worked. I could not help but smile back when his dimple peaked out from the side of his cheek. God I loved his smile. Biceps, abs, and perfect cheek bones aside his smile was by far his best feature. It warmed his whole face and made my heart do gymnastics at an annoying rate.

He took a long moment to respond, opening and closing his mouth several times before finally deciding on the right thing to say. As he spoke I could not help but notice a red tinge underneath his otherwise russet skin tone. Was he seriously blushing?

"Kim, I...I wanted to know if you would go out with me tonight? To Port Angeles for a movie or something? " He paused for a moment and then made a face slapping his palm to his forehead. "Or no, a movie is a dumb idea huh? Paul said it was." He clasped his hands together nervously wetting his lips before trying again. "How about dinner? We could do dinner!"

My heart soared but my mouth just hung open. Did Jared really just ask me to a movie? Or was it dinner? He had talked to Paul about me? I stood there like a mute for quite some time and Jared's nervousness seemed to just increase. I could not help but notice a slight sweat break across his forehead as he shifted from foot to foot. He it appeared as though he wanted to look away from me but wasn't quite capable.

I had to speak up for the sake of us both. It wasn't fair for him to have to wait considering the answer I was going to give had been screaming itself in my mind from the moment he asked.

"Yes Jared. I would love to have dinner...with you." I looked at my toes as I answered but could not help bringing my eyes up to meet his with a smile.

A smile rivaling the size of a Cheshire cat's burst across his features. I could not help but laugh at his exuberant reaction.

"Yes?" He yelled (very loudly I might add) and nearly jumped in the air. I cringed as a few people walking past us threw questioning looks over their shoulders. I automatically blushed. Jared seized my arm in excitement. "Yes? So, you and I are going out to dinner...tonight?"

It was like he expected me to have suddenly changed my mind. I could not help but laugh. My hand reached out on it's own accord to pat his, which rested on my arm. It felt like I was electrocuted, though the sensation was not entirely unpleasant. I wondered if he felt it too because his fingers twitched slightly under my touch. "Yes, yes we are."

He squeezed my arm for a moment before letting it go, his eyes danced in a way I had yet to see them do. The bell rang and I realized how long we had been standing there. "I uh.. I better get to class."

Jared nodded, even though he looked like class was the last thing on his mind. "Yeah me too. But I'll see you tonight? I'll pick you up at...uh eight o'clock?"

I began taking a few steps away from him, smile still plastered on my face. "Yeah, eight is perfect."

He looked like he was going to say something more but I turned from him to hurry to my class. Dear God...I am going on a date with Jared.

* * *

"Shit Sarah!"

Now, it should be known that I am usually not one for using profanity, but I promise in this situation, it was called for...

I had remained surprisingly calm throughout the day, controlling my urges to run and dance throughout the halls of the high school like I truly wanted to after the little...incident. I pulled Davy aside in the hallway and related every detail of the story to him to which he apparently was not surprised by at all. He seemed a bit skeptical about the whole situation if not even a little apprehensive. I then went through the rest of my classes being surprisingly jumpy. I couldn't help but let my eyes dart every which way, hoping to catch sight of Jared. I am _sure_ it is wrong psychologically, and on many other levels too, to be this excited for one simple dinner. But it didn't matter. I just could not contain myself.

It was not until the bell rang signifying the end of the day that reality really began to settle into the pit of my stomach. Oh God! I didn't know how to act on a date, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to order and my goodness I certainly didn't know what to wear! This was going to be a disaster, catastrophe even. As I ripped open my closest doors looking for something suitable to wear it did not take long for panic to settle in. Once I was close to hyperventilating I did what any other teenage girl would do in that situation. I called my best friend.

Now I am entirely aware that Davy is not the authority on what is and what is not acceptable on dates, but at least he could pretend to offer me advice Also, the fact that he had a very fashion savvy older sister at his disposal didn't hurt at all.

It didn't take long for Sarah and Davy Blaine to show up on my door step, make-up and high heels in hand. Sarah, of course, rushed me up to my room in an instant and began to fuss over me. She made me tell her everything about this "Jared boy" as she called him as she tugged a brush through my hair. I did my best to explain everything to her, but in truth Davy did most of the talking. He had made himself quite useful by lying upside down off the foot of my bed while eating out of a large bag of chips. His version of the Jared tale was much more colorful than mine, and sometimes bordered on simply not being true at all, but it was entertaining so I said nothing about his embellishments.

Sarah had promptly dressed me in a pair of skinny jeans and her very own cardigan (which was surprisingly flattering if I do say so myself). Of course she had brought over a few dresses for me to try on, which I promptly refused, not wanting to over do anything. Hell I didn't even know where he was taking me. Dinner in Port Angeles could mean freaking Taco Bell for all I know. No, it would make things much more simple if I was dressed in something I was comfortable in.

"Oh calm down drama queen." Sarah said, wiping away the eye liner she had just smeared down my cheek with her own spit and thumb. I cringed. That's the problem with friends that are like family...they treat you like family. Davy cackled from his little perch on the bed and I turned to glare at him. Sarah promptly caught hold of me and squared my shoulders so that I was facing her once again.

"I wouldn't make mistakes if you would sit still! Jesus you twitch worse than my dog!"

I wrinkled my nose at her and did my best to still my jittery hands. Jared would be coming in about thirty minutes. The more the clock ticked seconds away the more worried I got. Maybe I should have just said no and saved myself the inevitable embarrassment? I could just hang out with Sarah and Davy like I always did and not face the horrifying awkward silences I knew were in my future. That option seemed undeniably enticing at the moment.

Sarah bit her lip in concentration and then pulled away, holding my chin between her forefinger and thumb, examining her over all work. A smile broke across her pretty face.

"Kim, your eyes are ridiculously beautiful." She stood back, placing her hands on her hips and taking me in as a whole. "Stand up Kimmy, let Davy see the finished product."

Nervously I stood to face Davy. I am pretty sure I have never put this much effort into my appearance...ever. My eyes itched for a mirror but Sarah had insisted that I could not look at myself until I, her masterpiece, was completely finished being pampered. I ran my hands down the hem of my tight jeans nervously before glancing up at Davy. His brown eyes literally went wide with shock and his mouth fell open slightly.

I felt myself flush scarlet.

It did not take him long to gain his wits though and soon a giant, metal grin exploded across his face. He jumped up from the couch and nearly tackled me in a hug. I could not help but laugh and return it, resting my cheek on his head for a moment before pulling away. He held me at arms length.

"Jesus Kimmy! You are freaking beautiful." This statement probably would have been weird coming from any other guy, but in the case of Davy it only made me chuckle and blush slightly.

"Thanks Davy." I muttered, ruffling his hair a bit. Sarah only laughed.

"Seriously," Davy continued, " that druggie does not deserve you."

I scoffed at the reference. Though I will admit there were some very strange changes in Jared lately I had spent enough time with him to decipher that they indeed were not drug induced.

"Come look at yourself." Sarah grabbed my shoulders and led me across the hallway into the bathroom before I could retort. She seemed eager to show off her own handy work.

I closed my eyes for a moment, preparing myself before meeting my own gaze in the giant mirror before me. The sight that met me was all together shocking. Sarah had done nothing to hide my starlight hair and instead had pinned one side back with a small white flower. It was small enough that I did not feel uncomfortable, the the color of the pure white petals against my dark hair was shocking. Thankfully she had followed my instructions and not doused me with too much makeup. She had merely dusted my eyelids with a very light, shimmery powder then thrown on a layer of eyeliner and mascara. It was certainly more makeup than I wore on a day to day basis, but it was subtle enough that I actually liked it.

I examined myself for a moment longer before turning to Sarah.

"Thank you so much!" I wrapped my arms around her, offering her the only form of thanks that I knew how, and she hugged me back.

"You're sexy! Now, It's like 7:45 so Davy and I have to get out of here." She patted my back before we both joined Davy in my room once again. "Have an amazing night." Sarah and Davy began to gather their belongings that had wound up strewn about my room. I swallowed hard, knots returning to my stomach. Was I really going to go through with this? I haven't been on a real date the entirety of my high school career and now I was going out with the only boy I really cared about. How great. I secretly cursed myself for not dating more boys I didn't like. Then maybe I would at least know what sort of protocol to follow. What if he tried to hold my hand? How did one even go about holding hands! It seemed like a much more difficult task then people gave it credit for.

I became even more distressed once the Blaine siblings took their leave from my house. Though I waved goodbye to them from my front door a whole mass of violently agitated butterflies erupted in my stomach. I bit my lower lip and returned inside.

As I waited for Jared to arrive I felt like quite the mental case. I tried sitting at the kitchen table and staring at my hands until he got there. That, of course, lasted a grand total of about two minutes before I was up and pacing about the kitchen again. The clock on the far wall kept ticking seconds away, taunting me with every single one that past. As the big hand got close to the eight my mouth went intolerably dry. I couldn't do this. No way. I would just call him and...tell him I just threw up. Yeah, it wouldn't be far from the truth anyway my stomach was being so weird. I looked at the phone for a moment, debating but it's sharp ring made me jump out of my revery. Of course I wouldn't ditch Jared. I couldn't let this opportunity pass just because I was scared, I would probably regret it my whole life if I did.

Shaking my head from thoughts of Jared I rushed to the phone, clicking it on and pressing it to my ear. Maybe Jared had to back out? Though it would be a mystery to me how he got my home phone number...

"Hello?" I said tentatively into the receiver. Conflict raged with in me. Part of me wanted to hear Jared's strong, deep voice on the other end, apologizing that he couldn't make it, and the other hoped that it was anything but that.

"Yes," a voice that was foreign me spoke from the other end. "Is this the Connweller residence?"

I wondered if Jared's mother had gotten wind of the situation and decided to put an end to it. My tummy twisted once again.

"Y-yes" I stuttered out wondering what would possibly come next.

"Are you related to Alexander Conweller?" At this I pressed the receiver violently against my ear my stomach twisting in worry. What had Alex gotten himself into this time? No doubt being caught with drugs or something of the sort at a friends house.

"Yes, I am his older sister Kimberly. I am looking after him while our mother is away on business." I did my best to sound grown up but was sure that I failed miserably.

The woman's voice was filled with pity as she spoke this time with a much softer tone. "I am so sorry Kimberly, but I am calling to tell you there has been an accident. Can you make it to Forks Hospital?"

I felt like my breath had been knocked out of me. For a moment I literally could not breathe as I clutched my heart in shock. Questions came spilling out of my mouth as soon as they popped into my brain. "An accident? What do you mean? Is he OK? What kind of accident?"

I woman did not seem surprised by my reaction at all and persisted with her patient tone. I felt my hands shaking as shock settled into my system. "It was a car accident, he was in the passenger seat without a seat belt when it happened. He is in the ER right now, and not conscious. It would be best if a family member could get here as soon as possible. He is...not doing well."

My throat began to close but I forced it not to. This was not the time or place for crying, I couldn't allow it. My body took over, adrenaline suddenly pumping through my veins as I grabbed the keys to my car with surprisingly steady hands. My heart was beating wildly but it fed my quick actions instead of hindering them.

"I'll be right there." I was surprised at how steady and determined my voice sounded. It took me only a moment to click the receiver off before sprinting for the door.

I did not have time or the wits about me to notice that my cell phone was ringing from it's place on my bed upstairs. If I would have checked I would have noticed that the screen said _Jared_ across the front before dimming.

**I know I know two cliff hangers in a row is just downright mean...don't kill me. And you all thought they were going to have a cute little date like a normal couple...once again don't kill me.**

**Really, I swear there is Jared/Kim fluff coming but I warned you they weren't going to be all happily together right away didn't I? I hate fanfictions with no plot line so I made sure that my story had one first and foremost. **

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! They gave me the inspiration to bang out this chapter surprisingly fast, so you can thank yourselves for that. Hold onto your seats little ones because the next chapter is going to be a bumpy little ride and I am not going to lie I kind of already love it. **

**Review pleaseeee!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

The Hospital

"_Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore, we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love." _

Rienhold Niebuhr

I don't think I have ever driven that fast in my life. I am usually quite a law abiding citizen in all respects, but a mere fifteen minutes had passed as I pulled into the emergency parking of Forks Hospital. I shut the engine of my car off in a daze, staring at the dark dashboard in front of me. Everything felt like it was far away, or that I was hearing it from under water. I couldn't feel...I wouldn't let myself feel. With firm hands I tucked my keys into the pocket of my jeans before letting myself out of the car. Under any other circumstances I would have felt silly due to the way I was dressed, or worried about the fact that I just stood up the hottest boy in the school, but none of those things were on my mind now. None of it mattered. My mind was only utterly filled with my little brother. He couldn't be dieing. He just couldn't. I wouldn't let him. He was only sixteen!

With heavy limbs I made my way to the doors of the hospital. When I entered the sterile smell and florescent lights made me cringe. My stomach churned as my green eyes searched for an information desk. With a surprising air of calmness I made my way over to a kind looking young woman in green scrubs. I leaned my elbows on the desk, I think subconsciously trying to steady myself.

"Excuse me?" The woman looked up at me with a smile and I wavered. How could she go on like everything was alright when my world was falling apart? I steadied myself, clenching my fists tightly beneath me. "Where...uh...where is the emergency room?"

She was still smiling brightly. "Down that hall and your third door on your left... there are um...signs."

I simply walked away without thanking her. The signs of course were blatant to me now in their large red writing that read "ER" but I decided not to focus on them. It was a chore enough to put one foot in front of the other. I opened the large white doors with a feeble hand.

Upon entering the ER I very nearly almost lost it...nearly. Where as the rest of the hospital was rather spacious, I found the ER crowded and filled with too many people. There were two other families huddled together, holding one another, crying together, asking the doctors questions. I had to look away. There were stretchers being toed in by doctors, oxygen tanks connected to each of them. My stomach churned again. Biting a lip I rushed to the desk. When the man looked up at me I started a hurried explanation.

"I'm Kimberly Connweller. I got a call about my little brother." I swallowed hard. "Where is he? Can I see him?"

The man's eyes brightened with understanding. "Yes, Kimberly, we are glad you are here. He is in intensive care at the moment, I am afraid we cannot let you back to see him just yet." My eyes fell and got dangerously close to welling up with tears. "But, once we get him in and out of his CAT scan you will be allowed back there first thing. Please try to be patient."

I wanted to scoff. Yeah. Patient. Of course they would tell me to be patient when my brother was on the other side of that door in intensive care. I had to see him. I was the only one he had. Oh God! I was quite seriously the only one he had. A dangerously large lump rose in my throat and I forced it back down again, even thought it felt like I was gagging myself as I did so. I ran my hands over my jean pocket in a feeble attempt to look for my cell phone. Of course I did not have it with me. I was never good at keeping track of it, and the only thing that had been on my mind when I left the house was to get to Alex as soon as possible. What good it did me too, considering I was not even able to see him.

I turned to the man, hoping my emotions were well hidden on my face. "Can I...uh...use your phone. I want to call my little sister."

He gave me a look of pity before passing me the receiver without a word. As I dialed the number to Gracie's best friend's house I could not help but feel a great deal younger than I really was. My hands started to tremble as the line rang. I silently thanked God I had their number memorized from when my cell had been broken last year.

"Hello?" The questioning voice of Mrs. Winters came across the other line.

"Hi, Mrs. Winters it's Kim." My voice came out barely above a whisper and sounded not unlike that of a scared child. "Can I talk to Grace please?"

I could almost see the look of confusion of Mrs. Winters slightly wrinkled face. "Yes, yes of course Kim."

There was silence, she was searching for my sister I am sure. My heart began to beat a little faster. What was I even going to say? How do you explain this to an eleven year old?

"Kimmy?" Gracie's unsure voice came across the other end of a line. I almost let out an audible sight of relief as though I was expecting her to be in intensive care as well.

"Yeah Gracie it's me." I took a deep breath. "I need you to be a big girl for me right now OK? So promise you will be brave for me."

"OK..." her small voice came out a bit weaker, Gracie was a great many things but dumb was never one of them...unfortunately.

I anchored myself with a hand on the counter and attempted to sound like mom usually did in bad situations like this. My voice deepened and steadied a bit as I thought about my mother. She was strong for me, and now I had to be strong for her, for her and for Gracie. "Baby, there's been an accident. Alex is here at the hospital right now..." I thought of the words to say. I couldn't tell her everything was going to be alright. Things weren't alright and I had no idea if they were going to be. Her small gasp from the other end of the line unnerved me but I continued anyway. "He is going through some tests and then I will get to see him." There. That wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full extent of the truth either...just what a girl of eleven needed to hear. "I want you to do something for me OK?"

I waited for her weak, unsteady response. "Wh—wh—what?" I could hear Gracie's tears even though I am sure she was trying her best to hide them.

I continued thinking about my mother,her strength, her passion... it helped my words come out smoothly. " I need you to ask Mrs. Winters to take you home. I want you there when I get back. Just have Janie bring her sleep over stuff and have Mrs. Winters stay with you there." For anyone else I would not have presumed to make such a large request but the Winters' were to Gracie what Davy's family was to me. I knew they would not mind. In fact they would probably be mad if I didn't ask them for a favor in a time like this.

After a few more minutes of attempting to calm Gracie down from an entire town away I asked to speak with Mrs. Winters again. It did not take long to give Mrs. Winters the whole story of what happened, and she then assured me that she would take care of everything. It was like making a business transaction. Needless to say I was relieved when I hung up the phone, slamming it down on the desk with more force than was probably necessary.

At least things at home were in order. Mrs. Winters was watching the house, Gracie, and had even volunteered to call my mother (a chore which I had not even contemplated yet). She was going to get a hold of Davy and Sarah and was sending one of them up here with my cell. I was covered. Things at home were taken care of. Now all I had to do was be here...and that was the one task I was not sure I was ready to handle.

I sank down into a wooden chair and let my head fall into my hands. I closed my eyes and secretly hoped I would wake in my bed from a very bad nightmare. I would march downstairs and give Alex the biggest hug of his life then proceed to tell him if that he ever drank again I would beat him. At least in that instance everything would end up alright. We would all be together.

But this was reality.

Things didn't always end as planned, and sometimes they even ended altogether too abruptly. That was one thing that my father taught me.

I felt tears well up in my eyes at the thought and I stood up at a violent pace, knowing I had to get out, and soon. I didn't like the feeling of the other people in the ER watching me. The man behind the desk looked at me with questioning eyes but when he caught sight of my face understanding dawned on him. His dark eyes looked sad as I turned away, groping for the door.

I ran. One foot in front of the other, flats smacking against the hard surface of the hospital floor. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew exactly what I intended to do once I got there.

I needed to cry.

I needed to panic.

I needed to realize that tonight could very well be the last time I see my brother.

As these thoughts and realizations flooded my mind, tears poured freely, unhindered by my self control no longer. They were not even tears but rivers as their hot, angry, tracks trickled from my eyes down into my mouth and off the tip of my chin. My chest tightened and I felt pain there. It was literally like I could not breathe. I gasped for air and it came out more as a gut wrenching sob. This action earned me a completely horrified look from a nurse wheeling a patient by. I wanted to glare at her. Like she didn't see people crying here all the time! It was a hospital for Christ's sakes! I didn't have time though. My feet kept moving before me, taking me father away from where my brother lay. If I ran from the truth maybe I could pretend everything was OK.

My tears blinded me as I stumbled through the hallway looking like someone or something possessed I am sure.

Just as I was about to round a corner and break for the exist sign, something hard and firm caught hold of me from behind, easily turning me back in the direction I had come. I did not even have time to wonder who or what it was before a huge pair of arms enveloped me. I could not even tell whether they were grabbing my shoulders or my waist, or both, but I didn't really care. My arms automatically reached out, desperate to answer the embrace. I need to clinging to the something that seemed to be willing to hold me together.

"Oh God, Kim." I heard a deep, familiar voice whisper in my ear, but whether it was to me or just in exclamation I did not know. I was too thankful he was there to be surprised that Jared Dawyer was holding me to his chest in the middle of the hospital. Without even thinking about it I buried my face in his sweatshirt, tears still pouring out my eyes. Now that he was here, they seemed to come even faster, soon soaking his chest where my face lay, darkening the fabric of his hoodie. I could not even pretend to muffle the sound of sobs as they escaped my lips and each time they did Jared's arms seemed to tighten around me. "Kim," he whispered for what sounded like the millionth time. It was as though he was trying to call me back to him, out of my world crashing in around me and back to him. I hiccuped a little, but my sobs lessened. My hands had locked themselves behind his back, making there no way for him to escape. I was slightly afraid he was going to evaporate into thin air, and I would be left alone again.

"Kim, everything is going to be alright." I could feel his hot lips moving against my hair. He rubbed my back with a large hand, making comforting circles over the blue fabric of my cardigan. With one hand he let go of my waist but only long enough to stroke my hair before he pulled me to him again. "I am here now."

The sound of his voice against my ear had a calming effect on me. I wiped a wet cheek against his sweatshirt. "J—j—j-ared?"

Stuttering out his name was the only thing I could manage to do before I had to wipe my welling eyes again. He "shushed" me tenderly his hot breath tickling my scalp through my hair. I found myself unconsciously pulling him made my breath come easier. He was my anchor. My North Star. The one thing that was grounding me.

Gravity.

I cannot begin to imagine how long we stood their. His huge arms cradling me against his chest, rocking me back and forth. His hot lips would press against my forehead every so often only to return to their place on my hair once again. We didn't say anything as the last few tear drops escaped my eyes. I didn't have anything left. Even if I wanted them to the tears wouldn't come.

I pulled away slightly, holding him at arms length so that I could look into his face. My hands remained on his forearms though, not totally willing to loose contact. My stomach felt cold the moment his body left mine. His face was so wrought and twisted with concern and pain I almost gasped. I wondered for a moment if he had been crying. I swallowed hard, my puffy green eyes searching for any comfort in his. I was surprised when I found some there.

"Jared what are you doing here?" Not that I wasn't completely relieved he was, but even in my emotional uproar I knew that there was no logical way for him to have known I was here.

"I – I got scared when you weren't there...you know for our date. I thought you got mad about me calling to tell you I was going to be a little late..."

I only heard his words with half an ear. That's right! Jared and I had a date planned. It seemed like years ago that he asked me out and it had only happened this afternoon! Everything before the accident seemed a bit dull and fuzzy. I had to concentrate to bring the memories of Jared and I at the school into focus in my head. I did not have time to think about it much though for Jared was continuing his explanation.

"So I went looking for you, and I followed your...uh...your friend's directions here."

"My friend?" I said, attempting to dry my eyes, I didn't get far in doing so before Jared wiped them gently with his thumb.

"Yeah," He continued but I was hardly listening, his fingers were running through my hair, caressing it softly and he soon was holding my head where my neck met the base of my skull. I was shocked by how large his hand was and how warm it made me feel. "the little one...with the metal on his teeth?" His fervent eyes never left mine, he looked like he was experiencing one of the most acute forms of agony a being could endure. It looked almost worse than mine. It looked like he had to make a great effort to do anything other than touch me. I was actually slightly shocked at how freely his hands roamed my body. Not in an inappropriate way of course, but they never seemed to be in the same place at once. He would touch my hair, hold my back, run his hands down my arms, and rub my shoulders all in rapid succession. It was like his hands were unconsciously trying to check me for signs of pain, for something amiss. I just stood there like an idiot, my small hand resting on his shoulder, griping it tightly.

He looked at me questioningly waiting for a reply and I remembered that we were talking. I could not help but croak out a laugh, though it did not sound quite right at all. "Davy?" I asked thinking of the description. He had got it spot on really.

Jared brightened slightly at the sound of my attempted laugh. "Yeah, Davy. Him. He told me I would find you here."

I could not help but pull Jared into a hug once again, this time rising on my tip toes to rest my chin on his shoulder, even then he had to bend down a bit to accommodate me. "Thank you so much for coming...I...I..." I found myself at a loss for words. How do you thank someone for bringing you a light in your darkest hour? How do you thank someone for holding you through a raging storm.

Jared pulled away only so that he could cup my small face in between his giant hands. "Don't you think for a minute,Kim Connweller, that I would be anywhere else." His eyes held such sincerity such...ardor that I could not help but know it was true. I swallowed hard and for a moment let myself get lost in his eyes. Those beautiful, giant, honey colored eyes. What I found there scared me. It was passion, it was desire, it was devotion, it was...love? I had to look away and down at the tiled floor.

"We should get back to the ER. I want to see Alex." Jared nodded in understanding and let go of me slowly. I walked out of his grasp, taking a few steps back the way I had come. I don't think he liked feeling like there was no contact between us for as soon as we started walking he easily caught up with we, lacing his huge, hot fingers through mine. The sensation was amazing. His entire hand engulfed mine with warmth, squeezing encouragement to me on regular intervals as we neared the ER.

Jared reached a long arm in front of us to open the door for us both. I shrunk back into him as the reality of it all began to re-sink back in. The same man who was at the desk before looked up, brightening when he saw I had someone with me this time. Yeah that's right, Kim Connweller isn't alone in everything. He rose from his swivel chair as we drew nearer. Jared took a step closer into me, his stomach brushing my back. I squeezed on to his hand.

"Is Alex..." I didn't even know what to ask. The word "alive" wouldn't come out of my mouth to finish the sentence and it seemed like a stupid thing to ask if he was "alright" because we wouldn't be here if he was "alright".

"He is improved. The doctor told me to let you know he is now in and out of consciousness. He has no memory of what happened but he was asking for you...and his father"

I let out a huge sigh of relief. My shoulders feeling like there was a weight lifted off of them. He man indicated the door behind him.

"His room is back that way if you would like to wait there for his test results." He glanced up at Jared behind me. "You can go in two at a time if you like but no more. Room 17."

I nodded in understanding and walked to the door, Jared tailing me closely. He had let go of my hand only to place his palm on the small of my back, guiding me with gentle assurance. We walked in silence down the stark hall as we both search for room number 17. It did not take us long to find it, but once we did I found myself hesitating. Would he even look like Alex? Would he be awake at this point or slipped back into unconsciousness. I felt my throat go dry and Jared reacted perfectly, bending down to whisper in my ear from behind.

"It's going to be OK Kim. I'm right here."

And he was. I took a deep breath and walked in the room, reaching behind me to seize Jared's hand as I did so.

**Hey guys! I was going to make this chapter longer but thought you might like an update sooner rather than later. Sorry it took so long to get this up. Life is crazy :/ as Kimmy has learned. **

**It should be noted that there will be a Paul appearance in the next chapter. In case you didn't figure it out Jared never actually talked to Davy...aahh the intrigue. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I read them all and take everything you have to say in consideration. Let me know what you think! **

**PS the song I listened to on repeat for this chapter was Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, in case you are a music nerd and like to know those things like I do... **


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